Sunday scaries are real: Building a healthy relationship with work

Toni Frana, Career Expert at Zety.com 

Earning a degree and subsequently landing your first real job, one expects to feel a great sense of accomplishment (as you should). Many may be surprised, however, when that new and exciting job starts giving you anxiety; especially as the weekend winds down. 

Many call this phenomenon the Sunday Scaries, and it especially resonates with Gen Z. However, overcoming the dread and anxiety you feel about going to work on a Monday is not really about toughening up. It’s more about understanding what’s happening in your new situation, and then building out healthy habits early in your career to manage any job related anxiety. 

Understanding what is happening and getting to the root of why you are experiencing this phenomenon is the first step to knowing what you can do to help ease and manage your feelings. 

Sunday scaries are widespread 

Zety.com, a resume builder, analyzed data and found that 61% of workers feel some sense of dread and anxiety as a new work week approaches. Furthermore, 74% of employees have physical symptoms like insomnia and headaches related to pre-work anxiety. 

For Gen Z and other early career professionals, work-anxiety is generally high while trying to establish career momentum. Add to it unrealistic expectations, heavy workloads, and workplace politics, Mondays can seem heavy; and the anticipation and dread starts well before then. It’s important to recognize though, that even if you feel this way, it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, chosen the wrong career, or aren’t cut out for work. 

Being new and learning the expectations of your new role and what works in the office takes time. As a new professional, you experience many novel things, so working through these feelings takes time, and requires a bit of planning around how to manage the Sunday Scaries. The sooner you are able to do so, the better you’ll feel all around. 

Why early career professionals are vulnerable 

Early and new professionals can be vulnerable to workplace anxiety because they haven’t yet experienced typical work situations. Internships may be good preparation, but it isn’t the same as working everyday for 40 plus hours a week. Generally speaking, new experiences bring excitement and some nervousness. But when there are so many things that are new, it makes it difficult for some to absorb the intricacies of workplace norms and a new role quickly.  

When starting a new job, here are some potential friction points to watch for that could lead to anxious feelings: 

Everything is new and many rules are unwritten

Not only is the job new, workplace norms are also new. For example, just figuring out if people take a lunch break and leave the office, or eat at their desks instead, isn’t generally spoken about, but rather observed over the course of the first few days. 

Communication with new coworkers spanning a variety of generations versus previous schooling where most of your peers were the same age can be unsettling. Figuring out how to communicate professionally in a new group takes time, and most of us would like to figure it out as quickly as possible. Written and verbal communication is a currency that’s universally used across organizations, however, each company navigates meetings, email greetings, and sign offs a bit differently. Uncovering these expectations without a definitive rulebook takes time too, and can be unsettling. 

Different managers, different rules

Working with a new manager introduces management styles that may be new to you as well. Every manager has their own way to deliver feedback, explain expectations, and introduce communication preferences. Before understanding the way your new manager expects things to be done, there can be a lot of fear of doing something wrong. Once a consistent meeting cadence is established, having the opportunity to ask questions for clarification helps uncover a manager’s expectations and then gives you the opportunity to work toward meeting those expectations. 

The pressure to prove yourself

Starting a career is exciting. However, many of us want to be seen as more than a competent and reliable employee. As a result of the pressure we put on ourselves to prove we can excel, imposter syndrome often creeps into our minds, especially during the first year in a professional setting. 

For many new professionals there is constant worry about making mistakes and ruminating on how making one could define our reputation. Imposter syndrome amplifies those worries even though the reality is that everyone makes mistakes. With proper training and mentoring from the right people, mistakes are recoverable, and can actually be great learning experiences. 

The pressure we put on ourselves is definitely stronger during the adjustment from student to  professional. Within the first year of working, many people are able to recognize and leverage their strengths to provide high-value to their new team and organization, which ultimately relieves some of the pressure and anxiety accompanying that first year in a professional setting. 

College success doesn’t mean we’re prepared for the workplace 

There is often a gap between what you learned in school and what you are expected to do at work. Academic life is very structured, whereas working in a professional setting is less structured. Generally the first day (or week) of class, students receive an outline of the entire semester. Often this is referred to as syllabus week. However, at work, expectations are not always as clear, and may even change during the course of the work you are doing. Instead of being told what is due each week, you will be expected to manage your workload prioritizing what needs to be done and when. Work brings fewer concrete deadlines in favor of deadlines that may be able to be adjusted here and there. However, there are more long-term accountability expectations at work, given the responsibilities of a particular role. 

Feedback is given differently too. Percentage and letter grades give way to more conversational touchpoints with a manager. Often grades at college are set, while in feedback conversations at work, you have the opportunity to learn how you could adjust or improve on something by asking clarifying questions of your manager. This is a complete shift from “learning” to “performing” that brings up varying emotions and reactions in people. 

It’s important to remember that most professionals learn these workplace norms on the job rather than in college, so, when working through these situations it doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be successful. Confidence increases and comes from exposure and more experience, not knowing something instantly. Understanding that some work stress is normal, but noticing when it becomes unhealthy can help people manage what to do before it is unmanageable. 

Pre-work anxiety that gives you constant dread or physical symptoms like insomnia, or interferes constantly with your personal life are red flags. Understanding these red flags can help you take action before burnout takes hold. 

Building a healthier relationship with work 

When feeling overwhelmed with Sunday Scaries here are some strategies that can help alleviate some of the struggle. 

1. Separate “learning” from “failing”

• Understand that making mistakes is a part of growth
• Any feedback you receive is actually data to help you inform future decisions 

2. Create Sunday boundaries

• Do something you love to do on a Sunday
• Don’t do any work that isn’t required
• If there is a work-related task that can’t be skipped, finish it early in the day

3. Ask questions

• Communicate with your manager and ask clarifying questions to understand expectations 
• Remind yourself it’s normal to not know everything 
• Asking questions shows your team you are engaged

4. Observe before you react

• Work to understand team dynamics before assuming intent
• Remember every manager communicates in their own way

5. Build an identity outside of work

• Maintain an identity outside of work
• Protect your time for rest, relationships, and hobbies 

Just like other life transitions, the transition to working full-time is a season of life. Anxiety eases with time and experience. Creating healthy habits and a healthy relationship with work now will set the tone for the rest of your career. This early part of your career is where you’re becoming who you are meant to be in your professional life.