Nice is a Four-Letter Word
Starting a new job can be nerve-racking, especially when it comes to adapting to a new work environment. It’s as important for new hires to be able to mesh well with their coworkers as it is for them to be able to quickly learn how to do their new jobs. So what’s the best way for a new employee to endear himself to his coworkers? Should he strive to be likable or nice?
“I would say that the phrase ‘being likable’ implies that you are easy to get along with and that you respect other people, whereas, ‘being nice’ denotes a lack of sincerity,” said Holly Stokes, author of “Train Your Brain, Get Results.”
Melody Brooke,author of “Oh WOW, This Changes Everything,” agrees that nice people seem insincere and untrustworthy. “Being likable is a personality thing …” she said. “There is something about the person you feel warmly toward. Likable definitely gets you further than being nice.”
Mark Stevens, president of MSCO and author of “Your Marketing Sucks,” is also in support of being likable instead of nice, if forced to choose. “Nice people are often treated disrespectfully. Is this fair? Of course not. But human nature isn’t always fair. Boy by a long shot,” said Stevens. “On the other hand, people are often ‘likable’ because they are self-confident, exude charm and power. They may or may not be ‘nice’ but they are ‘liked’ because they are interesting or exhilerating to be around. You don’t have to choose between nice and likable, you can be both, but push come to shove, take the latter. It’s a lot more fun.”
“If you work to be kind, the people who are worth their salt will like you,” said Dick Cheatham of Living History Associates, Ltd. “Thus, you get both … being kind and being liked.”
Psychotherapist, Dr. Nancy Irwin gave a broader perspective, pointing out that each has its benefits in the professional world. “Each quality has its place. There is not one that is better than another, inherently. Different businesses and jobs have different qualities that are needed. [For example], public speakers should come across as likable, as should most performers. Yet, being nice (authentic, real), is more important for teachers, health professionals, etc.”
Truly, the best way for any new employee to work well and get along with his coworkers is to first be himself, whether it’s his nature to be nice or to be likable. In time, his colleagues will see for themselves who he really is and any preconceived notions they may have had about “nice” vs. “likable” will go right out the window … at least in his case.
Article by Candice Arnold
Courtesy of the Recruiting Blogswap, a content exchange service sponsored by CollegeRecruiter.com, a leading site for college students looking for internships and recent graduates seeking entry-level jobs and other career opportunities, and posted on HR Search Marketing.
