Dear Doctor Samantha…

Workplace romance is a fitting topic with Valentine’s Day almost here. To do it or not to do it is the real question and the real answer: think twice about it. I could just be biased because of the personal accounts I’ve witnessed, or because where I work seems to be the capital of fraternization, but really it’s just made me think about the issue a lot more. Helped me come to my own healthy conclusions and these are what I share now.
So, in my experience (again, not personal experience, but eye-witness accounts) something you have to sneak around to do to “not get caught” is honestly way too much stress to put yourself through. Every workplace has its gossip—inevitable—and the juiciest gossip is definitely whom sees whom after hours. No one wants his or her personal lives critiqued, laughed at, or even frowned upon at the proverbial water cooler. It sucks to be the object of ridicule, and for all you entry-level jobsters out there, this is not a good foot to put forward.
Another issue you should contemplate while thinking of Deborah or Fred’s dreamy eyes is do you think it will really last? Fine, none of us can answer this question with any certainty at the earliest stages. Some of us may even think it will, since we are, perhaps, blinded by that euphoric high of someone new. I recommend that you DO think of it if it’s a workplace romance. It’s hard to sit next to so and so, work with so and so, be cordial to so and so…if things fall apart.
A particular family member of mine is going through something similar to this, and it’s not pretty. In public, no one can tell. When no one is around he gets really nasty to her, bordering on harassment. Imagine dealing with something like this. Your options are: to report it, ignore it, or leave. She’s tried all of these recourses except leave since she has bills to pay. Quite an uncomfortable situation and she’s not the first nor will she be the last. I say remember these considerations when contemplating a workplace romance:
1) You WILL be the “talk of the town.” Now, do you mind?
2) If worse comes to worse can you afford to leave and start over or do you have a thick skin?
3) Are you good at playing hide and seek?
If you say puh to these considerations and still want to pursue that special someone remember workplace etiquette. Stealing away romantic moments when you are on the clock I can safely say is frowned upon. Being a bit too amorous at a meeting or simply at that water cooler may not be the best bet. Save your romantic time for when you clock out, it’ll save you a headache. Other than that I say good luck, more power to you. Just remember a workplace romance can quickly become a workplace nightmare. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Ps. I didn’t forget about the boy/girlfriend working as the new employee (they actually were listening to all that gushing about how great your job is). But that’s for the next issue…