On being unemployed…

Hi I am Amy and I am unemployed. I will have to imagine all of you reading this and I imagine that you would say hi back. I feel that employment has become some sort of whispered gossip to those around us. My mother is constantly telling me the working status of all my high school friends when she bumps into their mothers’ around town. Most of them are still off in another state- working out a different life from my live at home one. Some are still in school finishing their major or have gone onto grad school. And then there are those in my shoes, looking for a job. For those announcements my mother will turn and speak directly to me as though this was a secret message. “Oh yes. John Smith’s mother said that he is absolutely depressed, still living at home, still looking for work.” But what my mother is really trying to express to me is that- “you are not alone. People are in your boat. Snap out of this transition funk and find some work.”

At this point- a mere five months post-graduation- my mother is running out of patience as she waits for me to make a career decision. The other day she suggested that we pop over to Borders. I could get a job working there until I made some headway into the decision making about my life. I don’t think she is desperate for me to have income (although I definitely could use it) but I think she wants me out of the house. I think she is afraid that I have settled into some odd invalid routine of living. I don’t really go out much, my home friends have scattered across the country and my college friends don’t live nearby. I spend my time helping around the house, running the errands, picking up my brothers from their own lives. I too worry that I am in some rut. But I feel completely unprepared to be anything else right now. Yes I graduated and that does mean something but it hasn’t solved the problem of what to do now, what to do next. And while I wait for this decision to come to me, I have no choice but to reflect on what I have done and what that means for my future. Until then I need more time.