Numbers speak volumes in an entry-level resume

Until last week I had a really entry-level entry-level resume. I put it together, with the help of an old professor, and I was ok with the way it turned out, though still somewhat nervous and timid about the content. Last week I met with an acquaintance who had the perfect position for me at his company but I had to get my resume in that day. We met and put our minds and our laptops together to get my entry-level resume sounding not so entry-level.
First, he laughed at me. It was nothing personal, he just pointed out that my resume was obviously written by an English professor and not somebody with a lot of experience in business. He then explained to me what was wrong and how to fix it.

So, in case any of you have trouble understanding exactly what to include and how to include it in your entry-level resume, I think I finally have a pretty good handle on what is going to get that foot in the door.
First of all, and this may be obvious to everyone else but, for some reason, eluded me, don’t just list the duties that you performed at former jobs. Everybody knows what a waitress does. And don’t think that being a waitress or bartender or cashier while you were in college isn’t important. Positions like that contain a well of experience that can easily be dipped into for valuable skills on an entry-level resume.
For instance, on my horrible entry-level resume I noted the skills that I learned—interpersonal skills, the ability to know a customer’s limit, etc.—which are valuable skills, but to a business person these skills should be common sense. If you don’t posses good interpersonal skills then why are you applying for the position? On my revamped entry-level resume my interpersonal skills were translated into terms that related to business—money. Rather than noting my interpersonal skills, I noted that I retained a certain percentage of business—my regulars—thereby raising profits during the daytime hours.
On my version of an entry-level resume, I noted that, as a title administrator, I noted that my resourcefulness was integral in speeding up the title processing time and saving the company money. This was a start but my new entry-level resume put numbers to that statement, making it a proven fact. My new entry-level resume states that, within two months I dropped the number of late fees from 60% to only 2%. Those are numbers that cannot be mistaken.
It’s sometimes difficult for those of us with a more creative and less business oriented mentality to realize what we’re doing wrong and it takes somebody that thinks a little differently to step in and point it out. Like I said, maybe all of this is obvious to everybody else, but I suspect that at least one or two of you out there needed a little bit more help getting your foot in the door with that entry-level resume and, like me, noticed that all those books and websites don’t spell it out for us. Even the smartest and most accomplished need things spelled out from time to time