Reflecting on generation gaps

Holidays provide an opportunity for separated family members and friends to catch up and share recent experiences. As I’m sure we’ve all experienced in some form, a pointed criticism from a respected individual who is generally not directly connected to our present life can inspire both resentment and reflection. Since the particular incident I intend to discuss here happened over Easter weekend, it is still pretty close to home and therefore more difficult to write about objectively than most other topics. However, some reflection over a fresh wound should produce some reasonable method for properly addressing the criticism.

As I’ve discussed in other posts, I graduated last May. Aside from my current temporary position, the past eight months of job searching has not returned much of a harvest to be reaped. Hopes are always renewed in Spring (especially in any situation where a farming metaphor can be made), and no other holiday practiced by my family quite symbolizes the freshness of the season than Easter. My boss has agreed to utilize her network on my behalf, I have already had two interviews this month, and I am doing very well in my current position which offers an amount of hope that I will be offered a position in the next temporary assignment. All in all, things are moving much more smoothly than they were in the Fall. Whether it because all of my efforts are finally beginning to sprout or because HR departments nationwide participate in vapid Spring cleaning programs such that my resume ended up on top of the once deep piles, I finally have some external validation for my unquenchable confidence. Despite my very marketable communication skills, I do not seem to have properly impressed my hopefullness on my grandmother.
After the Easter feast, my festival family (mom’s parents, one of my mom’s sisters, my father, and my sister) was reclining on our couches drinking coffee or tea. While my mother has constantly been in contact with our various family members about my slow-going professional development, she apparently had forgotten to inform my family of more recent developments (such as an incoming paycheck, yay). One crack from my grandmother about my work ethic acted as a harbinger for all of the resentment which had accumulated over the months. That peaceful, beautiful, and festive Sunday saw an opportunity the veins of my heart to turn black with anger inspired by seeming futility. However, the initial tinge of anger had no bearing on my response; I simply began to explain to her the information which she was obviously lacking. While her initial reaction to my hour long reply seemed to have been mild shock, she soon recovered enough to compose herself with annoyance.
The true meat of the matter offered me an insight to an evolution between generations. It is quite apparent from my grandmother’s initial comment that after months of unemployment she considers me a loafer or even a freeloader. I cannot blame her for this sentiment; in fact, it offers light upon the matter of my unemployment is so depressing. I am living in my parents’ house; I am not providing an income to assist in the maintanence of the household. Simply put, I am consuming resources which my parents’ careers provide for me, and I am returning to them nothing. Further, my grandmother has no working understanding over the current entry-level job market, and she therefore does not understand the particular dilemma that I face: a surplus of non-technical college graduates. No matter how tragic my job search may be, no amount of pity can excuse a bum.
My parents do not completely share my grandmother’s sentiment, but they do not completely deny its implications either. While I held the job at the local coffee house, my father commented that he was impressed and pleased that I could do what was necessary in order to stay afloat. I had to take this comment with a grain of salt; he was well aware that $7 per hour was not enough to realistically consider moving out while I had various amounts of debt looming over my head, but he continually pestered me both about paying rent (while insubstantial, it was a weighty amount on about $400/mth) and about moving out. My mother, too, is conflicted about my fortune. She has a 22 year old son who can’t find his niche in society; does he need more time or is he being coddled too much? Certainly the question is difficult for her to answer. Therefore, my parents remain in conflict about the exact quality of my work ethic, and thus they remain in conflict about how much pressure should actually be applied in order to spur me on to the next stage of life.
I, of course, understand and appreciate that my parents are willing to support me until I become self-sufficient, but I remain confused over whether their will is a product of love or of social expectation. In a strictly utilitarian sense it doesn’t matter, but for aesthetic and ethical reasons I would like to (but simply cannot) solve this particular dilemma. Further, in parallel to my grandmother I do not completely understand why my job search has been so lengthy and difficult; my comprehension of the situation creates both frustration with my choices and a constant, repeated wish that if I could just find a chance I could easily prove my worth. In combination with how unemployment has affected my self-respect and self-confidence, I also feel the weight of being the first Great Texts major to have graduated from my alma mater. I wish at some point to discuss my opinion on the trend between places of study to focus either on the technical or on the liberal, but I shall avoid that tangent at the present.
Further, I also see so many of my friends struggling in the work force. So many intelligent individuals are fleeing to Japan to teach English because they have recognized the futility of their first year after graduation. Others are attempting and failing to find acceptance in the corporate world. We each have our own theory as to why we cannot find any jobs other than the temporary assignments, but in general we seem to have agreed that internships are worthwhile endeavors which we missed out on (I, for one, did not make a decision upon a career until post graduation, and therefore skipped an internship opportunity in order to study abroad). Some put emphasis on the surplus of graduates and feel confident that once we brilliant few attain our Masters we will become more valuable commodities (nevermind that this sentiment places the financial responsibility of getting a Masters squarely on our already burdened shoulders). Still others believe that the lack of technical expertise keeps us from the easy ascent.
Whichever of these theories or any combination therein is correct, unemployment is a hard situation to face. Silence from the prospective employer in regards to why a hopeful candidate is not considered further complicates the dilemma. Real life problems which cannot be appeased without an income further increase the pressure. An unwarranted and incorrect criticism on top of all of the difficulties provided by cruel fortune can be the feather which breaks the camels back, but such an injustice when compared to the rest of the rough load should probably be considered amusing. I took the opportunity to inform my grandmother of my past and current attempts to develop a future, and I have also used her comment as an inspiration with which I might properly judge her criticism and how it applies to her generation’s view of my generation.