Like Stones in a River

I’ve been relating in recent posts that this stage in my life is difficult because there is no plan. However, I don’t mean that I haven’t outlined a plan for myself, just that after college there is no standard plan. We spend our lives moving from one stepping stone to the next: go to elementary school, go to high school, go to college. You have to decide where to go to college, but the standard today is at least to go. Check, check, check. So then what do you do after college? That’s where the stones end and you’re faced with the wide open sea, which can be both liberating and oppressing.
So here I am, standing on the last rock, ready to dive off in just a month. I’ve decided what my next move will be; whether or not I can stand on it for a while, I have yet to see. But I am going to move to College Park, outside of DC, where my boyfriend has a house that is already paid for until August. I will continue my search for entry-level publishing jobs and internships, focusing right now on the non-profit sector, but not limiting myself to it. I realize I have to get experience before I can jump to where I eventually want to be; in five years I hope to working for a certain magazine, based in DC, that concentrates on both socio-political issues and creative writing, my two main interests. If I aquire a position that both affords me enough money to continue living in the city and will help me get to my next rock, my boyfriend and I will move into the city in the fall. If things don’t work out–either with him or with the job–I will go home and try something else. But I at least have to take that risk.
I’ve applied to about nine positions in the last two weeks. I’ve only heard from one internship position and it was not the response I had hoped. I also heard from that non-profit teaching position I had interviewed for in March. I didn’t get that either. Although I don’t think I would have taken the job if I did get a position, it still hurts my pride a little. It would have been nice to have a little boost of confidence knowing that someone out there wanted me. Okay, so I may be acting a little dramatic and I feel I’m still early in the game. But I’m trying to stay strong even though my enthusiasm is waning. My friend from home told me yesterday she sent eight resumes to companies in Florida where she hopes to relocate. She heard from four, got interviews for two, a second call from one and that one has not called her since. It’s like the March Madness of employment. And I feel like I’m headed in the same direction. When do I know when my options have been exhausted and it’s time to go home?