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I Am The Snake Who Bites His Own Tail

ryan c Avatarryan c
April 13, 2006


Last Friday, I had two, not one, but two job interviews.
You may be asking yourselves, “how does this happen? How does he do it?” How did I go from getting no response to résumés that I send out, or a mailbox full of rejection letters to two interviews?
There’s an expression that says something along the lines of: “It’s all in whom you know.” That is how I came across the first interview. Let’s not even call it an interview at this point—because in all honesty, it wasn’t. It was an informal meeting.
Let’s start at the beginning.
My old boss from college had been keeping an eye out for any job openings in the Minneapolis area that I should look into. A few months ago, somehow, he met someone who works at a company in the Twin Cities, and mentioned me to this person. He got this person’s contact info, and passed it along to me.
I sent in my information, and they told me they didn’t have any openings at the moment, but that they would keep me in mind. A few weeks later, I followed up, just to see if there had been any change. This time, my info was passed along to someone higher up, and that person contacted me.
It just so happened that the week they contacted me was the week I was going to be in the area for another interview. So I made an appointment to come in before my other interview.
This meeting lasted only a half hour—drastically shorter than I thought it would. I talked to the person who had contacted me, and no job was ever really offered. Really, no opening was ever mentioned to me throughout the course of all the emailing I did with this person. He mentioned they need a lot of equipment installers, and I said that I really wasn’t interested in doing that. At that point, I felt like I had kind of botched things, but I also didn’t want to say yes to something that I have no interest in doing. That’s kind of how I ended up in the job I’m stuck in right now.
My plan was to kill time between appointments somewhere in the cities—a coffee shop or whatever. But I had too much time, so I ended up driving back to where I had been staying; an hour away.
I left a few hours later for my second interview, and this actually was an interview. It was for an audio/visual technician opening at a very swank hotel in the Cities. I met with the head of the department, and then with his boss, and then with a woman who worked in the H.R. department, and an hour and a half later, I was on my way back to my girlfriend’s dorm room.
I thought that one went well—at least better than the morning’s had. This was a job I actually was interested in.
So now here I sit, waiting to find out if they are going to hire me or not. I wait, and I worry. It’s sad really, but I’ve come to a point in my life where I can’t just be happy for something that’s happening—I always have to think more about the negative than the positive. I mean, I should be thrilled that I had a job interview for something that I’d like to do. I’ve only had 2 other interviews since I seriously started looking for another job last November.
But then I think about having to try to throw a move together. How quickly can I move up to the area? How much will it cost me? What kind of apartment can I find? I have to keep my girlfriend in mind. Is it a place she’ll like? Can we afford the rent?
I worry about how poorly things are going to go with quitting my current job with the boss I’ve been leading on for the last six months. Will he understand? Will he be happy for me? Will he fire me right there?
Will I be good at my new job? How nervous will I be? I hope I don’t screw up too badly and they regret hiring me.
It’s things like this that keep me up at night. The worry about life eating away at me. I hope some day to be free from all this. To not have to worry about everything.
Until then—I’ll just keep walking on the eggshells that I find littering my path, and hope that everything goes better than I expect it to.

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