Tired, Stressed, Overwhelmed….etc.

Whew! I’m tired and contrary to popular belief I am not a work, work, work kinda person. Actually, I am pretty lazy if I don’t keep myself motivated. I am all about self motivation and I don’t believe in fate or luck. If you want something you have to work hard for it. I want to succeed so therefore I practice my craft with a passion. I love all of my internships(all four of them!!) to death, but it’s the “real” work I can’t stand.
I tried to call my boss and conpromise by just taking the 8th of April off, but still it was a no. I have always been on time, come in on my off days sometimes, but no appreciation. I have worked for 5 major corporations and it seems as if it is always about the bottom line. It isn’t my fault that we hired 4 people within the past 2 months and only 2 are left. All of them had the same complaint, management. We are understaffed and overworked because our shift can’t keep people. We had 2 senior people move to different shifts because they couldn’t stand how things were run on our shift. Then I learn today that my supervisor cannot fire me without writing me up first for my absences, so why does she feel the need to issue baseless threats?? Beats me, I do know that her supervisor constantly chews her out because she is always late, she doesn’t keep us informed, and we ask her repeatedly for our stats and she says she will get back to us. I have never worked in all my years at such a hostile place where all of my co-workers seems so very unhappy, but what can we do? I know one thing, I am outta there. I told my boss that this will be my last week.
It’s a part-time job, but i have to admitt I am a worrier. I worry about everything and I am a pessimist. I wish I could stop, but I don’t know how. I think I was born ms. doom and gloom. I wish I had someone to talk to or to give me the encouragement that I need. My husband has no interest in writing, politics, or what I do at school. I know he is glad i’m at school and everything, but sometimes I think he wishes everything was nice and easy like it was with my previous cushy job working in the cell phone industry. I can’t shake that feeling like maybe school is such a waste of time and money or is that the pessimissim in me??
Since I was 15 I have worked and when I became an adult no one ever gave me anything. Not my family, friends, no handouts from strangers. Everything that I have has been due to hard work and my husband, who by the way makes really good money. We have a nice house, car, lots of stuff and I don’t want to lose it, but i’m afraid sometimes to take risks because of that fear. Many tell me I have a God given talent and not to waste it. I recognize that I do have talent and it’s getting better all the time so I have to hold out. I have faith in very little except my mind. Whoever or however or why I was blessed with a keen sense of intellect, vision, and creativity is beyond me, but i’ll take it. I want to use it to help people and not waste it. Only recently has I come to feel that I could do so much more that just a plain old 9 to 5 job. My editor told me I have serious potential and I should go far if I just keep working hard.
So tomorrow is the big day, 3 interviews! Hopefully I will have some good news. I only want to work 2 part-time jobs, so we will see how it goes.