Some Thoughts from an Old Fuddy-Duddy.

Young people today have no idea how changed the job market has become. I don’t mean that as a put-down. I’m referring to the drastic tactics that many post-internet age employers are using to snare employees. When I was in my teens, twenties and thirties, all you had to do was write a really good resume, possibly a cover letter–if you were going into a better (high wage) job and fill out a paper application. Snap, you’re done. However, that’s not the only thing that has changed. Nowadays we’re not employees; we’re “team members,” “cast members,” “associates” and all that namby-pamby fluff that’s designed to make a crummy low-wage job sound like a major motion picture role.
Today, many post-911 employers are picky almost to the point of being paranoid-schizophrenics. At one point, I filled out an online job application for a position with a major tire company as a sales associate. Besides the usual questions on any application, there was an 81 question “survey.” This little do-hickey can be found with many major employers, from mid-size grocery store chains to major department stores. It usually is accompanied by a dreary on-line application, and can take as much as (depending on the computer’s speed) 45 minutes of your valuable time to complete. It contained numerous questions about one’s drinking and partying habits, and whether you liked to shoot guns or fish. Nowhere does it mention anything about tires…or cars. I like the questions that ask if you’ve ever shoplifted, or if you think that it’s okay to steal from your employer. I try to imagine what kind of…person, would answer “yes” to these queries. A few years ago, you didn’t have to have a great–or even good–credit score to secure employment, and, unless applying for a bonded position, you didn’t need to go through massive background checks, either. All that was required of prospective employees back then was that you did your job well and that you showed up for work. Then again, there was not the constant stark fear of lawsuits, shootings and robbery that seems to have developed and thrived in the post-internet/9-11 world. Makes me long for the seventies again.