Watermark on the Bottom

I spoke with the gentleman in charge of hiring for a small packaging and display corporation in the watch and eyewear industries. The conversation began when he flipped open his laptop and exclaimed: “The web already has thirty-three responses for me.”
The position in question entailed basic administrative duties. He wanted a graduate with excellent communication skills, preferably someone who spoke both English and French, and had at least two years of experience.
“How long ago did you post the advertisement?”
“Yesterday.”
“Do you always post with that sight?”
“Yep.”
This encouraged me. I have signed up with a couple of search engines/ job-seeking communities with misgivings. Would anyone legitimate actually post there or hit on my resume? “How do you pick?” I asked.
“The thing is, I get so many of these things – I know it sounds horrible – but I have to start making up arbitrary rules to disqualify people.”
Less encouraging. “Such as?”
“If it doesn’t have a cover letter, I won’t even look at it.”
“What about paper? Is it true that people throw out all the white ones?”
“I know some people who have done that. I don’t really care what color they are, but it’s good to have something to set you apart, a good quality paper. And if there is a misspelling I throw it away. They could be the greatest candidate in the stack, but if they can’t manage two grammatically correct paragraphs and a list, I’m not going to call them.”
“Anything else?”
“Watermark on the bottom.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. That’s just where it goes.”
“Does the envelope have to match?”
“No. I don’t care.”
Given the volume of “click to submit” riffraff produced online, it appears as though our audience has the attention span of a chocolate-fed two-year-old (or about three second). Employers, by necessity, are so good at throwing away resumes, they can make a crumpled jump-shot into a one liter wastebasket from forty-five feet away and still have the watermark land on bottom – don’t test them. Yesterday, I grudgingly walked the two blocks to the stationary store.