Mentors, Work Friends, and Boundaries: A New Grad’s Guide to Workplace Relationships

By Toni Frana, Career Expert at Zety.com 

It’s time! You’ve just started your new job. In fact, you’ve made it through most of your onboarding. You really want to make a good impression, and things feel like they are going well, but you don’t want to be (or seem) overly eager, or let your inexperience show. How do you find a balance between figuring things out and asking smart questions? 

Answer: Relationship building. Prioritizing building relationships is key in learning workplace norms, getting feedback, learning about opportunities, and perhaps most importantly, feeling connected. In a workplace, it isn’t just one relationship that makes a difference, it’s a mix of relationships with a manager, a mentor and peers. The most beneficial workplace relationships are professional, mutually respectful and built over time. 

Build peer relationships 

Whether working in an in-office, hybrid or remote role, new professionals should always be intentional with check-ins, coffee meet ups (even virtual) and showing up prepared for meetings. Connecting with peers is helpful (especially as the new person) because your peers have been in your position recently. They can help you with questions around how the team handles certain things, for bouncing ideas off of, and also for learning about what they wish they knew when they started. Introductory conversations can help you increase your confidence in your day to day activities because you know you have at least one other person to turn to when you are facing a question or challenge you aren’t quite sure how to handle. Consistency and commitment to getting to know your peers serves professionals well across a career. 

As your peers may become future company leaders, hiring managers, clients, collaborators or professional references, introducing yourself to your team and colleagues in adjacent departments allows you to start building trust and credibility. As you gain more experience, you’ll be able to offer help and support to them as well. Reciprocal relationships like this are good for relationship building and strengthen professional connections at work. 

Work to find a mentor

Finding and building a relationship with a mentor is invaluable. In fact, Zety.com, a go-to source for resume templates, analyzed user behavior to uncover that 71% of Gen Z professionals think the ability to work with a mentor or a coach at work is a top perk. Keep in mind, mentors do not have to be formally assigned by your company, or be a senior executive. Finding this person can take a bit of time when you are just getting started, but think through who you know, and who has impacted your life and decisions in a positive way for ideas.

Mentors can be: 

• A manager in another department.
• A more experienced colleague.
• An alumnus from your college.
• A former internship supervisor.
• A professional connection met through an association or volunteer experience.

Make a list of people whose judgement, career path or communication style you know and respect. Study the list and once you’ve identified the right person, reach out and ask them to have a conversation with you. Keep in mind, at this point, keep your request small; not something that will take a lot of their time. 

Once a meeting has been set, prepare focused questions so you are able to respect their time and act on useful feedback. A mentorship relationship is meant to be long-term, so there is not a rush to get through a long list of items during your first conversation. After each conversation, express your thanks and appreciation, and be sure to keep your mentor updated on your progress and outcomes. 

Start on the right foot with your manager 

As professionals start their career, the manager/direct report relationship is important to foster and develop. Learning a few things from your manager in regard to their expectations and goals will go a long way in ensuring you have a successful start, and that you are also building credibility and trust with them. Many times, as a new employee, we can be anxious about a number of things from asking a question, waiting too long to ask for help or overcommunicating in general. When you’ve had clear communication consistently, it reduces the chance of anxiety and stress over these things.

Key information to uncover during early manager 1:1 meetings: 

• Clarify how your manager prefers to communicate.
• Ask what success looks like for you in the first 30, 60, and 90 days.
• Be prepared with possible solutions along with questions.
• Ask for feedback before a performance-review season.
• Keep commitments and flag risks early rather than hiding mistakes.

Knowing your manager’s preferences and expectations will help you perform at a high level. While a manager does not need perfection from you, they need visibility, reliability and a willingness to learn. Working through these items before there is an issue creates the foundation for success right away. 

The importance of setting boundaries 

While building relationships in a professional environment, it’s important to have clear boundaries. Keeping power dynamics in mind is important too, particularly when a relationship involves a manager, direct report, client, or someone who affects evaluations. 

Over time, through the fostering of various relationships, workplace friendships can certainly develop. These friendships can be valuable, but oversharing, gossip, favoritism, and blurred personal/professional boundaries can create issues for you and the wider team. Work to keep your conversations professional. Be cautious about discussing sensitive topics, venting in a public manner, or using workplace communication channels for personal conflict or even romantic outreach. When boundaries are absent (or blurry), there is a risk of professional damage to you and your contacts. 

Being a consistent communicator with those you work with on a daily basis helps ensure the relationship is built on trust, while also making sure boundaries aren’t crossed. 

Building professional relationships is an investment in your professional development. To build strong connections, you do not have to be the most outgoing person in the office, or continually collecting dozens and dozens of connections on digital platforms. Having a small and dependable circle of people who you’ve built relationships with through being curious, consistent, and respectful of, ensures long-term relationships that stand the test of time. Early in your career, you won’t know everyone, and you do not have to. Instead, focus your efforts on building relationships and become someone people trust, remember and want to work with time and time again.