I Just Play One On TV
TV Jobs and Real People Who Do Them
Not sure what you want to be when you grow up? Well, all you have to do is turn on the tube and start flipping to find plenty of great careers to choose from. Okay, maybe watching 24 or Scrubs doesn’t qualify as an informational interview, but it’s a lot easier than pressing your suit and memorizing interview questions. But do doctors really get that much romance? Do government agents really have such cool cell phones? We went to the real-world equivalent of our favorite TV jobs to find out.
24
Aside from the torture, stray bullets, and targeted military air strikes aimed right at him, Jack Bauer’s job looks pretty cool. When he watches the clock, it’s because he’s in a race against time. There’s no doubt he always scores the sweetest gadgets. And judging from the (hot!) cast of multi-ethnic male and female staffers, it looks like CTU is an equal opportunity employer. How do you get that job?
Gus Dimitrelos, recently retired special agent for the Secret Service, says there is plenty of opportunity in Bauer’s line of work. Dimitrelos was in charge of physical, cyber, and technical security for Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. “The next time you see the president’s motorcade,” he says, darkly referencing his technical team, “look for the car behind the president’s.”
Even retirement from this gig is action-packed. We spoke to Dimitrelos from his cell phone shortly before he left on a covert mission to a war-torn area to retrieve sensitive information from a laptop–sounds like a day in the life of Jack Bauer. “Yes,” he laughs. “Bauer and I both get assignments involving field acquisition associated with cyber-terrorism, though I don’t work for the government anymore.” Dimitrelos’s missions are done without a camera crew or catering truck, too. “It can get pretty grueling,” he admits.
Still not cool enough? Recently, through a request that came to his company, WhoHackedMe.Com, Dimitrelos solved the high-profile cyber-stalking of Linkin Park front man Chester Bennington, which became a matter of national security in the process. Sweet.
Before you decide the life of a spy is for you, Dimitrelos points out one thing. “Note that Jack Bauer isn’t married,” he warns. Dimitrelos, who isn’t married either, says this aspect of the job is true to life. “We have a saying,” he explains. “‘If the Secret Service wanted you to be married, they would give you a wife with a badge.’ You can’t manage both.”
Still, you get to put terms like “covert operation” and “British Bomb School” on your resume. Seem worth it? Dimitrelos suggests you major in computer science, then get a job with the secret service, FBI, or any branch of law enforcement. “You could even go into Customs or the DEA,” he suggests. “There has become such a demand in intelligence for anyone with technical skills that I call it the ‘New Attorney.’ Every corporation is going to need one.”
House
To watch House, it would appear that being a brilliant doctor is a heady cocktail of detective work–often involving breaking into patients’ homes, antisocial behavior, and pill-popping. Depression, hostility, angry coworkers, and sick people who get sicker–or die–before you can cure them? Where do I get a job like that?
Dr. Lisa Sanders is not only a clinician-educator at Yale Primary Care Residency Program, she also writes the New York Times’ “Diagnosis” column, which served as an inspiration for House. She also acts as a consultant for the program. “How accurate is House? Well, it’s accurate to a higher truth. It’s not literally true. For example, how many nurses do you see? How many technicians? None!” A diagnosis is fundamentally a thinking problem, though, which doesn’t make for good TV. So the show externalizes the elements of that process.
“I would love to break into someone’s house to see how they live because that’s an important part of a diagnosis, which is why House does it,” Sanders says. “But I have to be satisfied with asking them what’s in their medicine cabinet. Breaking into people’s houses tends to get you arrested, and an arrest record wouldn’t look good on my resumâ©.”
Can’t wait to become more like House? “Make sure you like math and science,” suggests Sanders. “But don’t become a narrow person. Read novels. Go to plays and movies. Understand politics. Be involved in the world. Those are important clues to understanding human beings, which is the subject of medicine. You don’t treat a cold; you treat a person with a cold. I was a television producer before I became a doctor, and I was 36 when I went to medical school. I would not be the doctor I am today if I had gone straight to medical school from college.”
American Idol
In every episode of American Idol, a singer gets up on stage and makes hitting every note in front of a huge crowd and millions of TV viewers look like a walk in the park. Adoring fans, glamorous hair, and perfect pitch. How do you get that job?
“There is an element of American Idol that is exactly like being a professional singer,” says jazz singer Jeanne O’Connor, who among other gigs is a member of String of Pearls, a vocal trio that has played all over the world. “You are up there in front of a band–a great band–and you are performing live. The contestants have to learn the arrangements, practice with the band, and deliver a great performance. Singing in a club is a lot like that–though you don’t usually have six million people watching.”
Like the sound of that? A solid music education will help you “speak the language of musicians,” says O’Connor. But don’t sacrifice a well-rounded education to get it. “Dedicated music schools sometimes teach everyone the same stuff,” she muses, “and there is a lot of competition. So maybe you won’t develop your own voice.”
She recommends a liberal arts school with a strong music department. “Oberlin has a conservatory as well as a liberal arts degree. The University of Miami and North Texas State each have great music departments. And a lot of great musicians come out of the University of Indiana.”
A career performing music is an entrepreneurial endeavor, so business, communication, and even technical skills will help. You have to promote yourself, create your own style, and even hire the venue and other musicians to work with you. “You have to do a lot of self-starting,” says O’Connor. “It used to be that performers would make a demo and send it to a record company. Now musicians promote themselves on the Internet.”
“You could also audition for American Idol,” laughs O’Connor. “That’s a good idea–if you can take the cuts.”
Scrubs
At Sacred Heart Hospital, every day is full of hilarity and romance for Dr. John McGinley and the residents. Sick patients, trauma, and long hours seem an afterthought to the dating, banter, and friendships. How do you get that job?
“I like Scrubs,” says Dr. Ed Mariano, assistant clinical professor of anesthesiology and director of regional anesthesia and anesthesia for outpatient surgery at UCSD Medical Center in San Diego. He, like McGinley, mentors new doctors in a residence program. “But it isn’t really an accurate portrayal of the medical profession.”
“There was one episode where a doctor delivers a baby and then performs pediatric surgery on the newborn. Medicine is very specialized. That should have been at least two doctors.”
But what about all the hilarity and romance? “Well,” says Mariano, “I haven’t worked anywhere that has been quite like it is on TV. Dating coworkers probably isn’t a good idea. But the people you work with do become very important to you. You spend so much time together, especially in a residency, that you end up being best friends outside of work. My best friends are still the people I did my residency with. So, that part, I suppose, is true.”
CSI: NY
Whether you are examining a crime scene or going over evidence with a fine-tooth comb and some snazzy lab equipment back at headquarters, it’s life in the fast lane while you put away the bad guy.
And all your co-workers are incredibly hot. Where do you get a job like that?
“In the real world, I’m afraid we aren’t all supermodels,” laments computer forensics investigator Ted Coombs. “We’re just ordinary people doing a job. And on the crime scene, there isn’t one person who is expert in all things. People with different skills have different jobs. Those jobs are often pretty specialized.” He adds, “And on TV they can all shoot straight. That’s not really true either.”
Coombs studied computer science but started applying it to forensics rather late in his career. Even if it isn’t like TV, he finds the work fascinating. “I had a double-murder case where the proof was in e-mails that the murderer sent.”
But because he frequently works for the defense, his detective work often involves creating doubt where the prosecution has created certainty. “In one case, a truck driver’s wife and her boyfriend tried to get rid of him by downloading [incriminating material] to his computer.” The prosecution was convinced the truck driver was guilty. But Coombs showed that the truck driver had been on the road when the downloading happened.
“TV shows always show the forensics people as being very dutiful,” he says. But in truth, the prosecution is only looking for evidence that supports their case. They ignore evidence that isn’t relevant.
You don’t need a law degree to get into forensics. “Forensics is the application of any science or technology to the law,” Coombs explains. “Just get a good science degree and some experience, or a minor, in criminal justice.”
Article by, Christina Wood, a freelance writer in North Carolina, and courtesy of www.careersandcolleges.com
