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Inappropriate Behavior From Boss or Just Kindness?

Steven Rothberg AvatarSteven Rothberg
September 16, 2005


Question from Employer:
I have a friend (we’ll call her Sherry) that told me this story yesterday. I am completely flustered about this and want to make sure that I am not being unreasonable in thinking that this is the most disrespectful, inappropriate behavior by a boss.
Sherry has become close with her boss David. She has worked for him for approximately 9 months. David is a very religious man and is married with 2 kids. While working together in a small office, they have begun to talk about their personal lives. Sherry’s husband is not very supportive. He has a bad temper is very close-minded. Over the months, Sherry has confided in David and he is very aware of the situation that Sherry is in. Sherry, to the best of my knowledge, has accepted her husband’s behavior and has no plans for divorce. David, her boss, has told her that he wants to become more than her boss-he’d like to become her friend. He’d like to become the type of friend that shows her how she deserves to be treated. In a purely platonic way of course.
Yesterday, Sherry and David went to a business meeting off-site. After the meeting, David told her that he had planned the day for her. He told her that he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, that she should just trust him and that he would NEVER do anything to hurt her. He drove her to a hotel where he already had a room. Took her up to the room that was filled with candles and had a jacuzzi. He lit the candles and said the room was hers to enjoy and that he’d be back in an hour. She enjoyed a bubble bath while he was gone. He returned and they shared lunch in the room with nothing happening. Sherry felt fine with all of that.
They had to leave b/c he had made a reservation for her to have a massage. He dropped her off at a spa where he bought her a Swedish massage. Again, he picked her up afterward. In total, David paid approximately $250 showing Sherry how she ‘deserved’ to be treated.
It was made clear that this day would stay between the two of them and noone else should know.
In Sherry’s mind, b/c David did not try anything, he was just being ‘nice’. In my opinion, as her boss, this behavior is unacceptable, inappropriate, and completely disrespectful. I think Sherry needs to inform David that she can never again receive gifts of this sort from him. Ideally, I believe she needs to look for a new job. Please, tell me your opinion.

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