If you have moved from your home country to another one, you already are aware that different cultures require different tactics. You are fortunate that you got feedback.

You may be intimidating because of your size or statureas you suggest, but it might also be the way you express yourself. Why not practice your interview skills with some impartial contacts in the UK to see where you may be turning interviewers off? This will give you additional feedback about how you can better adjust your interview performance to suit your new environment.

good luck!

Alison Blackman Dunham aka "Advice Sister Alison"

You're doing a lot of the right things to "tone down" your presence, but it's an uphill battle. Not only are you tall, but remember that what is called confidence in a man is called overbearing in a woman; what is called assertive in a man is somehow perceived as aggressive in a woman.

I am of Dutch and British descent and work with international students/job candidates from everywhere. In my experience, the Dutch and Germans have personal presentation and interviewing norms more closely aligned with American ones (very direct, frank, invited to claim and prove accomplishments and skills without worrying aboat seeming boastful) than with UK ones (more reserved, indirect, subtle, deferential, with a preference for letting the interviewer make inferences and deductions, in some ways more aligned with Asian cultural norms).

So, with these cultural distinctions in mind, think about what you can do in addition to the positive steps you've already taken. One, I'm not sure I'd name your dominant personality as a weakness--why put that vocabulary and concept into an interviewer's head? In behavioral based interviewing, employers want examples of how you've overcome a weakness or mitigated a trait. Think of a specific time when your leadership resulted in a failure to delegate, for example, and what action you took to correct this shortcoming, and then give a subsequent example that demonstrates you learned how to delegate successfully. Maybe you haven't listened well, or built consensus in the past; how have you overcome that, give an example of more recent vintage when you did better in those areas. Honing in on specific behaviors and their resolution will be more productive than adding fuel to the fire by calling yourself a domineering personality!

Two,when you talk about your accomplishments, do so in a matter-of-fact tone and let the facts speak for themselves. Your natural confidence can otherwise come across as cockiness. Understand that most people have the opposite problem, because I've yet to meet anyone from any culture who was raised to brag about themselves. So while your confidence may not be above normal, your presentation of that confidence may well come across as wiping everybody else off the map.

Three, asking questions in an interested manner may not be enough: you want to demonstrate an openness to others' ideas, a curiosity to learn, a humbleness in light of how much more there is to learn.

Four, sit instead of stand whenever you can, to de-emphasize your height relative to your interviewer, but do not slouch. Unusual height conveys presence and power, good things in many circumstances. Own it but don't flaunt it in an interview.

Five, remember that a huge part of your task in the interview is to build rapport across the table. You are interviewing the interviewer too. Try to bring out commonalities, use your sense of humor, be interested in the person as well as the job.

Six, pay attention to pace. If you rush into a room, reach out to shake your interviewer's hand, interrupt questions, race through answers impatient to get to the next one, you will be perceived as a hard-to-control employee, and abrasive. Let the interviewer set the pace. THINK about your answer before speaking (you can do this for up to 10 seconds and still come across as thoughtful, not hesitant).

Seven, ask questions about the work, the expectations for the first three months, how your work will be measured. Do not ask about benefits, promotion possibilities, etc. for a job you have not yet been offered--a sign of overeagerness perceived as overconfidence.

Eight, ask questions about the organizational culture. You may have run into organizations where your personality and management style just don't fit. Better to find out now rather than after you're on payroll.

Last, you may just be applying for jobs beneath your skill level, and therefore intimidating interviewers who view you as a threat to their jobs. Are you aiming high enough, for a job which is a stretch for you?

Do not despair! Confidence grounded in competence will be recognized, and hard drivers often make it to the top of their professions.

There are two things going on in any interview.
1.”Can she do the job?”(I am assuming you are qualified or you probably wouldn’t have been invited to the interview).
2. “Do we like her – is she going to fit in?” (This area is more significant than you might think).
The interview is a “getting to know you” process. If you are covering up during the interview and not being true to yourself, you are not showing the employer the “real” you. That is unfortunate because sooner or later you will have to “come out of the closet” and be yourself. And then the trouble often happens.
You didn’t have trouble in college because you were yourself interfacing with like-people. Now you have relocated to a new country and may not “fit in.”
I have a question for you. How do you feel about the people that are interviewing you? Are they the type of people you would like to work with/for? This is something that most people forget. You are checking them out (or should be) while they are interviewing you.
the interviewers found me “to confident of herself”
There is a difference between being “cocky” and being “confident.” Anything taken to extreme is not good.
I believe the best mind-set to go to an interview with is that of a “consultant.” This company has a problem and you are there to find out what it is. You will then let them know you heard and understand the problem and have the solution to their problem – if you do. Again, as a consultant you can fix their problem – do the work they need to have done.
>I brought up my dominant personality as one of my weak points and explained that I’m aware of it and try to manage itShe told me the HR manager, in the beginning of the interview, was actually scared of me<Apparently after 15 minutes she warmed to me, and wants to see me back for second interview.<
I wouldn’t let the feedback from one woman throw you off track.
It may be that you are interviewing at the wrong places. Maybe you need to seek out a company who is looking for a more aggressive attitude.
I am a believer in the fact that if you are the “right person” for the job the interviewers will overlook a lot of other differences or shortcomings.
One last thought – think of this as a dating process. You did not (hopefully) get a marriage proposal after every date. You will not get an offer after every interview. Sometimes you just have to let go. It is out of your control.
There is a job for you out there. Go out and find it!
Best wishes
Carole Martin
InterviewCoach.com

Sometimes it is hard for us to see ourselves as others see us. Since you are working with a recruiting agency, I would request that they conduct and video tape a mock interview. Then together with the recruiter I will review it to see if either you or the recruiter might be able to pick up on something that is causing the interviewer not to hire you. There is a fine line between being assertive and aggressive.

I would also be careful with the question that asks about weaknesses. Saying that you have an agressive personality that you are working hard to control is not helping in this situation. I would rephrase how I answered that question so that it did not sound so negative. Try something like...By nature I am a take charge person which I don't consider to be a weakness. I have learned that working as part of a team with vision and goals can be just as satisfying as charging ahead on a project on my own.

Linda Wyatt
Director - Career Center
KCKCC