3. As you listen, feel free to converse.

By all means, converse. But do so with the intent of clarifying your own understanding, rather than attempting to get your own point across.

In other words, you must repeat what the other is sharing with you back, so that you may--

- internalize the other's viewpoint in your own mind, thus increasing your own understanding, and

- reaffirm to them your own understanding of what he or she is trying to share with you.

Through this process, you enhance your communication, and allow less chance for mix-ups. More importantly, you give the other person respect and validation. There is perhaps nothing better to nurture a relationship than a sense of shared understanding.

“So, when do I get to talk?”

As Stephen Covey indicates in The Seven Habits, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Yes, believe it or not, your opinion matters! However, just as others deserve your undivided attention, you deserve to have theirs. Indeed, when you have demonstrated that you understand the other's position and have shown genuine empathy, other people will be better able to be open to what you have to say, whether it is a point of disagreement, concern, or affirmation.

In fact, your expressed understanding of the other's perspective first will actually give more credibility to your own point of view.

Key Objectives to an Informational Interview

Of course, this all contributes to some of the things you want to accomplish through informational interviews.

First priority: make a good impression.

I'll tell you a secret that a career counselor told me when I was unemployed. This woman had worked with many managers and interviewers, and she pointed out one tactic she heard one man almost always used when he interviewed applicants in his office.

While this manager and the interviewee were talking, his secretary outside would always lay a rolled up piece of paper on the floor right outside his door. It would always be placed so there was no way anyone coming out of his office would miss it.

The test: whether or not the applicant would pick it up, or leave it for someone else?

The above is an excerpt from The Last Guide to Networking You'll Ever Need, which is available for sale for $17 in our bookstore or for free to those who subscriber to our free career newsletter. In this tough economy, people who find jobs usually do so by networking. Written by Keith F. Luscher specifically for the job hunting students and recent graduates with zero to three years of experience who use CollegeRecruiter.com. Are you networking at least two hours a day? Those who are finding jobs are. Don't be left behind. Read this book and you will quickly find a new job. To receive a free copy, subscribe to our free career newsletter.

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