Personal Growth and Self

Finally, last but not least, is a focus on self. Those around you - at home, at work, and in your community - won't be happy with you if you're not happy with you. Ultimately, it's each of us who is responsible for her/his own happiness, not those around us!

It's important to understand and adopt the mental attitudes that help you succeed, and to discard the ones that drag you down. One wise person said "We're just about as happy as we make up our minds to be," and I'm convinced he was right.

I've seen people of wealth suffer as individuals, and I heard recently of one retired wealthy corporate senior executive who ended up clinically depressed and institutionalized because of the decline in his paper wealth with the stock market's implosion of 2000 to 2001. And yet each of us knows of people who live happily in poverty, or next to it.

Attitude, in fact, touches each one around us, at work and at home. "People want to know how much you care before they care how much know," wrote James F. Hind.

In my experience, all other things being equal (ethics, competency, etc.), nothing compensates for enthusiasm, energy, and a positive mental attitude. Cynicism is the greatest corrupting force that we face as individuals and organizations, I feel, because cynicism lowers our expectations of those around us, and, ultimately it lowers our expectations of ourselves.

Having said that, how do we design a positive attitude about self into our lives? A few thoughts for your use in life planning:

1. Understand the importance of personal integrity and ethical behavior . Happiness comes from creating win-win-win outcomes around you. If your success now comes from winning at someone else's expense, a win-lose, you're headed down a path of unhappiness, heartache, and discontent.

2. Understand what makes you happy and contented - via a frank discussion with the real you (in reflection) and with those you love - and build a positive, constructive plan towards that.

3. Understand the sources of your emotional and psychological health , and work on the areas that need work. Is one of them creating more emotional balance in your life?

4. Focus positively on your personal growth as an individual, within the context of lifelong learning. What areas most interest you, and how/where can you pursue them?

5. Carve out time for you and for your interests! So many of us spend so much time giving at work, and at home, and in our community, that we lose sight of who we are, and what we need to sustain and nourish ourselves. That includes time for reflection, recreation, rest, and renewal.

6. Build some self-awareness. Remember how Abraham Maslow built his Hierarchy of Needs , with food and shelter at the bottom, rising on up through self-esteem and ultimately self-actualization, and understand where you are in the process. Perhaps, too, understanding your behavioral profiles via Myers-Briggs, or your DISC (Dominance, Influence, Supportiveness, Conscientiousness) from Inscape Publishing (formerly Carlson Learning) will help.

 

Creating Action by Creating Accountability

The best accountability ultimately is accountability to self, although often you create accountability in open discussions with those at home and work who are interested in your welfare. My favorite thought on that point, attributed in various forms to Henry Ford I, is, "Whether we think we can, or whether we think we cannot, we're right!"

The above is an excerpt from The Last Job Search Guide You'll Ever Need: How to Find and Get the Job or Internship of Your Dreams, which is available for sale for $19.85 in our bookstore or $27.00 at Amazon.com but for free to those who subscriber to our free career newsletter. This hot new book contains job search secrets of the most experienced, most knowledgeable and most respected career experts. Learn career planning, job hunting tools and tactics, interviewing, cover letter and resume writing (lots of samples!), networking, and how to find an internship. Written by 149 career experts. To receive a free copy, subscribe to our free career newsletter.

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