By Terese Corey Blanck and Peter Vogt
In 2002, Ferris State University surveyed more than 800 high school juniors and seniors across the United States to find out about their career-related concerns. One of the questions the survey posed was: "Who is primarily responsible for helping you plan for a career or job?"
Guess who high school students are turning to the most (by far) for career advice? You - that is, their parents. Indeed, a full 78 percent of the students in the survey said that "one or both parents" were their "primary" career advisors. (For the record, "school personnel" came in a distant second at 10 percent.)
So … whether you're ready for it or not, chances are your high school son or daughter is going to come to you for career guidance. Remember the old saying, "You are your child's first teacher"? Well, you'll probably be your child's first career coach as well.
What is that all about? What does it mean for you to be a "career coach" to your child? Like any coach, as a career coach you'll help your child put his/her career-related ideas and passions into some sort of action. You won't "tell" your son/daughter what job to pursue or what career is right for them. (You can try, of course, but you won't truly succeed.) Instead, you'll serve as a "guide on the side" who understands and accepts these key principles:
- Your child has his/her own interests, motivations, passions, and abilities. You can't impose your (or anyone else's) interests, motivations, passions, and abilities on your son/daughter. But you most certainly can (and should!) help your child discover his/her own.
- There is a vast number of career choices that are possible in the world of work, with new occupations and even industries being created practically every day. It is both necessary and desirable to investigate possibilities - both those your child already knows something about as well as those he/she may not be aware of (yet!) - so that your son/daughter finds true satisfaction in his/her career life.
- Your job - indeed, your unique gift to your son/daughter - is to help remove barriers so that your child can hear his/her inner voice and begin moving toward actions that will help him/her respond to that inner voice's wants and needs.
How exactly can you do all of this and be a great career coach to your son/daughter? Here are five specific strategies you can employ:
- Encourage your child to assume responsibility for making his/her own career decisions. Let him/her know that you can't - and won't - "tell" him/her what to do or not do. At the same time, however, assure your child that you're willing and able to point out potential options to explore, and that you'll do your very best to be a helpful resource.
- Help your child identify his/her innate talents or abilities (sometimes referred to as "gifts"). How? For starters, share your observations of things you've seen your son/daughter do well consistently. Ask your child about what he/she has felt good about doing in the past. And encourage your child to take advantage of any abilities and/or skills testing that might be available at the high school or (future) college career center.
- Help your child deal with the inevitable fears and anxieties that stand in the way of moving ahead with career exploration. Does your child have the "yes, but"s where some career options are concerned - in other words, is he/she prematurely ruling out a potentially rewarding career with statements like "yes, I enjoy art, but you can't make a living doing that"? If so, work with your child to develop a plan of action for questioning his/her assumptions and what he/she believes about a particular career path. Much more often than not, what any teenager "knows" about a particular career doesn't exactly match reality.
- Openly discuss your child's dreams and passions. Ask open-ended questions to help your son/daughter elaborate on what type of career might give him/her a sense of real purpose and meaning. Don't get hung up on job titles at this point! Focus instead on the essence of what your child would like to do - and then have him/her describe it in as much detail as possible, either verbally or in writing.
- Listen for understanding. Again, don't slip into the all-too-natural but ultimately unproductive mode of giving advice. Rather, try to pinpoint the feelings that accompany the words your child is speaking or writing. Read between the lines of what you're hearing - is your child consciously or unconsciously trying to tell you something beyond the obvious message embedded within his/her words? If so, work hard to uncover that message and put it on the table for open discussion.
Great coaches listen as much as they talk and take in as much as they give out. Your son or daughter will likely be coming to you for critical career guidance - if he/she hasn't already - hoping you'll be the open-minded, inquisitive career coach he/she needs instead of the biased, my-way-or-the-highway career nag he/she fears.
Will you be ready?
-- Terese Corey Blanck and Peter Vogt are career coaches with College to Career, a Minneapolis company that offers personal career coaching geared to the unique needs of high school and college students. To learn more about College to Career, visit the company's web site at www.collegetocareer.net. Or contact Terese Corey Blanck, President, at 763-494-4447 or tblanck@collegetocareer.net.
Copyright © 2003, Terese Corey Blanck and Peter Vogt. All rights reserved.
