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This resume was submitted by an actual jobseeker and is reprinted with
permission. Names and other identifiers have been changed. The critique is
provided by myjobsearch.com, publishers of the largest directory of online
career resources and experts in online job-search. The resume is printed in
text format; comments on the resume are separated by two lines of asterisks.
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Bob Brown
1234 Groovy Circle
Berkeley, Ca. 92123
(415) 555-1212
1965-1972: Going to college as natural as pleasing parents and avoiding the
draft. After obtaining a B.A. in Psychology and realizing it was about as
useful as a wet toilet seat cover, Graduate school provided a means to
obtain a job and to continue to avoid the draft. Graduate school was
frustrating and drinking to excess provided an adequate adjustment to being
required to become both a Fritz Perls and/or Carl Rogers clone, by my
professors.
1972-1974: A counseling position was obtained in Amador County (in a Sierra
foothill community just to the political "right" of the John Birch Society,
and with the attitude that if you did not come to town with Kit Carson you
were a "newcomer", and to be mistrusted). The position required that I
organize the County Drug Program under the direction of the County Board of
Supervisors and everyone else that happened to have ancestors that had sat
around the campfire with Kit. Within six months I had successfully alienated
the County High School administrators by confronting the "Gestapo" tactics
of one principal. The end result was the firing of the principal and the
retention f my position, however, my image, in the community, would prove to
be damaged for the remainder of my stay in Amador County. (Seven years).
1974-1978: Being encouraged by the County Mental Health Department (a two
person operation committed to the philosophy that if you make "waves" you
can't lay on the beach and enjoy the sun) to join their ranks with the
intention of "legitimizing" my "trouble-making drug counselor" image. I did
"legitimate" counseling with "legitimately disturbed" individuals, families
and groups. During much of this time I got the unsettling feeling that
psychotherapy was about on the same level as surgery when it was practiced
by barbers. However, I was relieved to discover that I did not have to lose
my hair, gain a lot of weight and speak with a German accent to have a
positive influence in the lives of my clients.
1978-1979: With the passage of Proposition 13, the County Board of
Supervisors decided that since there were probably not any individuals any
more mentally disturbed than themselves, living in Amador County, they could
terminate the Mental Health Department. The State Department of Mental
Health hired the entire staff to continue working for nine months as
"consultants". Frustrated, tired, burned-out marriage, burned-out me, and
feeling a lot like bleached cat s*** I resigned at the end of the contract
period.
1979-1980: Unemployed, non-directed and divorced. Diagnosis: early mid-life
crisis with depressive tendencies.
1980-1982: Hungry, remarried and not sure about re-entering the mental
health field, I obtained a menial job at a resort motel in Santa Cruz. Since
this job had the mental challenge equivalent to counting the number of Fords
that come into town on Saturdays, I become increasingly bored and decided to
look for something a little more exciting in the job market.
1982-Present: Not being able to find a job putting out oil well fires, I
settled for a position as a counselor for a Job Corps Center in San
Bernardino (or as Bugs bunny says, "San-Barn-Nard-Dean-O). After several
months I discovered that Job Corps' philosophical approach is a combination
of the Ward Cleaver/Ozzie Nelson School for Wayward Youth and the Marine
Corps. Because I am finding it very difficult to wear a Drill Sergeant
uniform with elbow patches without experiencing a great deal of frustration,
I am now looking for other employment.
If you would NOT be interested in talking with me at this time, or in the
near future, please feel free to fold on the lines provided on the back and
sail it into your waste basket.
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Bob is a funny guy. But his use of humor as a resume does not serve him in
any fashion. Written words carry a greater impact than spoken words. Without
body language and voice inflection written words tend to be perceived as
something different that what was intended. In this case, Bob's flippant
nature could be characterized as negative and cynical. It is best to keep
resumes on a professional level.
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