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This resume was submitted by an actual jobseeker and is reprinted with
permission. Names and other identifiers have been changed. The critique is
provided by myjobsearch.com, publishers of the largest directory of online
career resources and experts in online job-search. The resume is printed in
text format; comments on the resume are separated by two lines of asterisks.
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KEVIN MASTERS
OBJECTIVE: Case Management position, which will use skills in individual and family counseling, treatment program designing, and management and supervision.
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It is good that Kevin has a direction. But this statement is wordy, non-specific, and grammatically questionable. Perhaps Kevin could have merely said something like "Case Manager: Individual and Family Counseling".
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EDUCATION: Bachelor of Science, Associate of Arts and Science, Electronic Certification, Certificate of Completion-WA State Criminal Justice Training Commission, Certificate of Care Giving, Diploma.
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Kevin's education probably should be listed after his experience. This is important in this case because it appears that his Bachelor's degree is not relevant to his job target. In addition, important information such as dates and places have been omitted in listing Kevin's education. This may cause an employer to question whether Kevin has his degree or not.
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SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE
Counseling: Provided individual, group, and family counseling for at risk and mentally disturbed clients. Conducted comprehensive personal history interviews. Used self-assessment exercises …[this goes on for another 200 words, edited for this publication]
Treatment Program Design: Conducted initial intake assessment. Defined risk factors and objectives and programs needs. Designed programs according to the risk factors, child development principles and characteristic of mental, communication skills, managing emotions, personal goal setting, career education and exploration, self-awareness and self-esteem. …[this goes on for another 400 words, edited for this publication]
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-Kevin seems to want to conduct the interview right from his resume. The original resume is nearly 2 pages of dense text. That is way too difficult to scan. Resumes get only a few seconds scan before a hiring manager makes a decision. With text this long and dense 90% of readers will skip the whole section. Resume paragraphs should be a *maximum* of 2-3 lines. The longest in this section is 22 lines long! It is in desperate need of bulleting, prioritization and reduction.
-Some of this information would fit nicely under his job titles. The fact that it is separated out like this will raise doubts about the relevance of his experience to his stated objective. Use of this format, called a 'Functional Resume,' with skills and experience highlighted separately, is of most use when your experience does not directly relate to your objective. This doesn't appear to be the case, therefore he should have used a reverse chronological format.
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Management: Managed retail operations including buying, merchandising, inventory, payroll, accounting, and staffing. Planned advertising and sales promotions. Established incentive programs for sales staff….[this goes on for another 200 words, edited for this publication]
Technical: Worked in surface mount, wiring, measuring instruments, blue printing, soldering, component installing, testing trackers, cabling, packaging and…[this goes on for another 200 words, edited for this publication]
Finance/Sales: Generated loan applications and D&R reports, Negotiated terms and credit line with businesses, corporate lenders, and the credit bureau. Resolved and prevented discrepancies…[this goes on for another 200 words, edited for this publication]
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What does this experience have to do with Kevin's objective?. Kevin's Retail, Technical and Finance/Sales sections are completely irrelevant to case management. Including them does nothing to further his credibility as a case manager. In fact, the opposite is true. Including this non-relevant information dilutes his central message and indicates a lack of focus and direction.
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EMPLOYERS
County Division of Aging- 1992-Present
Department of Social and Health Services- 1995-1997
American General Finance - 1994-1995
Jack's Enterprise - 1991-1992
Intermed Corporation -1988-1990
Matsushita Systems- 1987-1988
Hewlett Packard -1986-1987
Lagrange - 1984-1986
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Kevin needs to include his job titles in this section.
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ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE
Scholarship Recipient, Honor Society, Torch Honor, Student of the Year
Juvenile Worker Academy, WA Correctional Association Award
Bilingual, English and Cambodian, Knowledge of Asian/Pacific Islander Culture, Computer Literate (Microsoft Windows)
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Much of this should be grouped with his Education into one coherent section.
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COMMUNITY AND OTHER ACTIVITIES
Cambodian Study Center-Member, Career Alternative-Volunteer, Shore Community College Student Association, University of WA Khmer Student Association-Volunteer, Edmonds Community College Student Club-Volunteer, Mentoring for the public Asian Community. Fund Raiser for Community Based Agencies, Conductor, Composer, Singer.
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This should be done in a bullet-list format.
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