Internship and entry-level job candidates know that soft skills are as important to their future success as the hard or technical skills that they learn in their classes. Being likable, for some, is considered a soft skill that can and should be learned by anyone who hopes to have a successful career. Naturally, there are some who would disagree.
"Anyone can be 'nice' but in business, it is better to be likable," said Tara Zoumer, marketing and communications coordinator for Silverado Senior Living. "In my opinion, the key to an interview, aside from the obvious factor of having talent, is the ability to become likable within a single conversation. Just being 'nice' isn't enough; being likable is essential."
Good leaders know how to strike a balance. According to Gary Schinkel, president of Unique Training and Development, Inc., "Being likable or nice is helpful in terms of being approachable. By smiling and being warm, more people are apt to want to be around you, which helps with leadership and achieving results," he explained. "If you are warm and open, people will bring their challenges to you earlier, allowing you to deal with problems quicker, before they get out of hand. So, you want to be just likable enough that people don't hate spending time with you, and then challenge them enough to be their best."
Authors, Kathi Elster and Katherine Crowley of K Squared Enterprises, feel it's better to be likable than nice, too. They broke their reasons down this way:
"Being nice means that you
1. probably say yes when you should say no;
2. probably give others the benefit of the doubt and compensate for their lack of competence;
3. most likely get overlooked or go unnoticed because you are not always memorable.
"Being likable means that you
1. are a team player;
2. are easy to get along with;
3. make it work with others but you are not a pushover."
"Being nice, i.e. kind, pleasant and caring, is something that cannot be taught" said teacher and business coach, Karen Southall Watts. "Likability sums up a set of behaviors that can be learned and will increase your chances of success in the workplace. Being perceived as likable in business means more sales (people like to buy from those they like) as well as more promotions and referrals. Niceness is a personality trait. Likability is a social skill," she concluded.
Corporate trainer, Dr. Marlene Caroselli also equates being nice with being weak and agrees that it's "better for business people to be likable." Dwayne Waite, Jr. of The Charlotte Agency agrees that "the word 'nice' seems to mean a lack of a backbone." Rosalea Hostetler of the Balmer Fund, Inc., on the other hand, sees both nice people and likable people as insincere, holding their true feelings inside and making themselves physically ill. For some that might well be true, but certainly not for all.
Psychologist, Dr. Doris Jeanette, agrees that honesty is important. "It does not work to be nice if you are trying to please others; people can feel your insincerity."
"People do business with other people," explains Peter Bogren, Jr., vice-president of sales and marketing for UNISOURCE Management Corporation. "I have customers who will actually pay a little extra to do business with our company because they like doing business with me. [For example], if I showed up at their place of business and they didn't like me ... they would dismiss me."
Jeanne M. Perdue of PetroComputing is among the minority of people who don't see it as strictly an either-or situation. "You can be nice without being likable - like Lou Grant of the Mary Tyler Moore show - and you can be likable without being nice - like [the character, Danny Ocean, a very likable thief] in [the movie] Ocean's Eleven. Of course, you can be both ... or neither."
Although most people seem to believe that it's better to be likable than nice when it comes to business, there really is no set rule. There are nice people who aren't weak and weak people who aren't nice, and there are likable people who are in no way insincere. Instead of generalizing and pigeonholing people, it would be better for business in particular - and for society in general - if each individual could be judged on the merits of his own job performance and behavior rather than on someone else's idea of what it means to be nice or likable.
Article by, Penny Loretto, a career counselor at a small liberal arts college in upstate New York, has her own private career counseling practice, Career Choice, and is About.com's Guide to Internships.
