And the Sun Goes Down Again...
Hi, all. The last time you heard from me I had started my job at the dollar store. It was easy, low-stress, and things were working out well. That was then. Saturday they told me that I will be trained for register on Sunday. I was worried, but not too much. I figured that I can handle register. I'd worked it before and I could again.
However, when I actually got there and they put me in front of the register, there was a line of people waiting in the other register line and many people in the store. The assistant store manager told me that I had to count the money, make sure there was a hundred there, and then I could open the register for business. So many things were happening around me that the numbers were all jumbled in my head and I couldn' t even count. When I say " so many things were happening" I mean that I have no filter for the information coming in around me. I felt the child screaming at his mom because he wants a toy. I felt the old man who had already waited in line for 20 minutes and was anxious about getting out of the store. I felt the woman who was trying to help her mother find what they were looking for. I think you get it. I was taking in everything that was happening and I couldn't focus on the money.
So, they took me off of register after I told them what was going on. They told me to keep unpacking stuff in the back. Then they had to call in another worker during her only day off in the week to fill in at register because I couldn't handle it. Of course, when she came in, she wasn't pleasant at all because she's a full time worker there who gets one day off and because I couldn't handle my job, she had to come in. I felt so bad. It took me the rest of the shift to calm down.
When I woke up for work today, I figured that it was a new day and I could handle work today. When I came in, the manager told me that they don't want to let me go, but if I can't work register then they will have to because everyone in the store needs to work register. I got really depressed about that bit of information. So depressed that I couldn't even continue working. My body just shut down and I had to leave. I couldn't finish out the day.
After I left work, I went immediately to my doctor's office and made an appointment. I need to get back on my Attention Deficit Disorder medication and I need a higher dosage of the Anxiety/Depression medication. I really hate living off of medications but it seems to be what I have to do. Now, I'll have to pay for them monthly again and without any income. I'll be living off of my mom and grandparents AGAIN. When grad school starts in June who knows where the money will come from for my supplies. I don't even want to think about it right now. I just need to drop off the face of the Earth for a few days to regain myself. I feel so lost right now. Can I contribute to society? Can I function? I'd like to think that teaching college will be completely different after I get my Masters, and hopefully it will be. But how can I be sure?
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Matthew,
You may wish to have a conversation with your employer about having them make a "reasonable accommodation" for you given your medical condition. I understand that their current policy is that everyone who works in the store must work the register, but they may be willing to adjust that policy in light of their obligations under the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA). I'm not saying that they must make such an adjustment, but if you're convinced that the choice is you working the register or being terminated, then it seems to me that it well worth the effort to have a positive, cordial conversation with them about your situation. Perhaps they can schedule you to work only when there will be enough staff to work the registers so you can continue to stock or perform other duties.
Best of luck.
Thanks for the advice, Steve. I'll let you know what's going on in my next post.
Matt
Matthew, my expertise on ADHD relates to teaching, tutoring, and being in mediation with people who have the condition. My expertise is in getting to focus on the most important thing at hand.
First of all, if you had not proved yourself capable of doing the job, (1) you would not have been hired, (2) nor would you have received any of your new responsibilities. Next, the manager told you that you are very capable when she spoke of not wanting to let you go.
Remember my blog from quite a few months ago? "Focus, focus, focus!" Tune out all of the other stimuli and focus only on the most important thing in your environment at the time. You need to open your register. The important thing is getting the cash drawer started and then opening. Then the next thing is the first customer in your line. Take things one thing at a time and do them well and completely. Then start the next. With time and practice, you'll be good at multi-tasking because you have extra time between steps to do something else while you're waiting for Step 2 of Project A to complete. So you can start Step 1 of Project B. But it takes practice.
The next thing is to be ready and willing to see circumstances in shades other than black and white, all or none. If you stub your toe while walking to the store for an ice cream cone, you don't turn around and go back home and give up on getting the ice cream cone. You sidestep whatever got in the way and keep going after the ice cream cone at the store. So it goes with the upsets. Don't let them overwhelm the entire purpose of your task. A little something got in the way. Sidestep it after taking note of what happened and why, come up with alternatives for dealing with that situation in order to reduce its recurrence, and keep going. Focus on the task.
If the medication for controlling your ADHD condition is mandatory, then take it. Talk with your doctor about what your limits are and what accommodations are appropriate for you with, and perhaps without, medication.