Many of us stay in our careers (and jobs) longer than we want because we are unsure what we would do next. We tell ourselves that the answer will come to us someday. Then, we will make our move. Or, when the economy improves, we'll go. But in the meantime, we stay where we are, stuck and unhappy.

Your career does not get better until you make it better. This involves work. Yes, you may tell yourself that the work is hard to do. But isn't staying in a career (or job) that is draining your energy and taking away from your quality of life harder?

Getting out of a rut is all about taking action to move yourself forward. You decide what you want and then you put a plan in place to get it. You see it, you believe it, and then you achieve it.

Continue reading "What to Do When You're Stuck in a Rut at Work" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on November 5, 2009 at 10:13 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Your workplace might have the best workers and the team dynamics is one to envy; but still all humans are different and quite often we come across coworkers who make our workplace less than enjoyable by their pesky presence. In fact, I can most definitely say that most of us have come across at least one or more of such a not-so-pleasant workplace situation - dealing with difficult people at the workplace.
Such individuals must be dealt with depending on the situation you face and in no way should continue to be the reason for your miserable life at work. Here are some tips on how to deal with them:

1. This person might have an intention to excite or provoke you to a confrontation, beware! Losing your cool can only cost you your reputation and of course peace of mind. Whatever happens, try to take it in calmly and prefer to respond back at a later time if you feel anger surging. Responding back, or retaliating in any way must be avoided unless of course if it is to protect yourself physically.

Continue reading "Difficult Coworker " »

Posted by Candice Arnold on November 3, 2009 at 1:40 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Just when you thought it was safe to walk by your co-workers' cubicles without a blindfold, a new technological menace may be coming to a small screen near you. It took years for employer-employee etiquette to merge into manageable desktop rules regarding pornography and social Web sites. Now, "sexting" has arrived to threaten the workplace environment.

Too Much of Too Little

Speeding ever more quickly to a Blackberry or iPhone near you, accompanied by innocent chuckles: well, you don't really want to know. And that's the problem. Too much of "too little," as in the form of tiny but sexually explicit cell phone images and photos. The screens may be small . . . but the pixels tell way too much of the story.

Continue reading "Making "sexting" a turnoff in the workplace" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 26, 2009 at 8:14 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

As we get deeper into influenza season, fear of the flu in general and the H1N1 swine flu virus in particular is on the rise. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that as of this week, flu activity is on the upswing, and is "widespread" in 41 states. Meanwhile, the H1N1 vaccine is limited and difficult to obtain. This is causing public reactions from "caution" to "concern."

You may be wondering why there is so much fuss about the flu this year. Regular influenza kills as many as 36,000 Americans every year, but this year we have that problem plus the issue of swine flu, which may explode onto the scene. The 2009 H1N1 virus (a.k.a. "swine flu") is particularly dangerous because:

• It is a new combination (made of human, swine, and avian elements) and virtually no one has natural immunity to it
• The vaccine is not yet widely available
• This strain attacks the young and healthy population in disproportionate numbers

Continue reading "Preparing for swine flu in the workplace" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 26, 2009 at 8:07 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Many people have a hard time confronting someone with his/her bad behavior. In today's economy, it's even more difficult because no one wants to jeopardize his own job - if the offender is the boss - and there are probably few who want to cause someone else to lose a job unnecessarily. The way people deal with this, according to Joseph Grenny in his article, Having the Scary Conversations, is to avoid the person who's been behaving badly.

Grenny cited a study that found that "70 percent of employees are currently facing a scary conversation" and that 34 percent put off having these conversations by avoiding badly behaving coworkers, direct reports or bosses for at least a month.

Continue reading "How to Confront Someone Who's Behaving Badly" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 26, 2009 at 8:04 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Over the past 6 months, my inbox has been jammed with questions strikingly similar to this one:

"With 160 Gen Y's working for me, one big issue continues to be their obsession to text during work. Any thoughts on this growing problem?"

My initial thought is that Gen Y's obviously don't see texting at work as a problem. For many, if not most, texting is as inherently natural as walking, eating, and breathing. So what's all the fuss about?

Continue reading "Teens See Nothing Wrong with Texting at Work" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 9, 2009 at 11:24 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

While some people frown on the idea of office romances, many others think it's okay as long as both parties are willing participants. The seven tips below were written by workplace etiquette expert, Peter Handal, to help an employee to know what to do should he/she decide to become romantically involved with a coworker - or someone higher up.

1. Check the company's policies. Before launching into an office romance, be clear on the company's policies regarding office relationships. Many companies --large and small-- have hard and fast rules against relationships developing amongst co-workers. If it is against the rules, you have to ask yourself: "Is it worth it?" And, if it is, be discreet and prepare for any consequences.

2. Maintain decorum and professionalism. It's a good practice to keep your social and business lives separate and that means not letting a romantic relationship affect the quality and efficiency of your work. When it's an office romance, the stakes are even higher. If there's evidence that an office romance is affecting work, one or both of you may be asked to end your romance or, worse yet, find another job.

3. Avoid dating someone in a higher or lower position. Office politics and hierarchy should be top-of-mind, particularly when it comes to office romances. Choosing an entanglement with a co-worker - especially one at a different seniority level - could dramatically affect your salary or movement within your company. Avoid unwanted scrutiny and drama by avoiding dating those with whom you regularly work.

4. Save the romance for out of the office. Absolutely no public displays of affection at work. Maintain proper distance and save the romantic acts for locations that are not often visited by co-workers.

5. Address issues after-hours. Never, have or bring fights or arguments to work. Any personal disagreements should be dealt with outside the office.

6. Plan for the worst. Agree in the beginning of the relationship how you will handle a potential break up. Avoid, at all costs, a messy break up. It isn't just you and your partner that are involved, it's your entire office and the future of the company's dating policy.

7. Consider leaving. If the relationship does get serious, one member should consider a new position outside the company.

Peter Handal, president and CEO of Dale Carnegie Training is the tips-master when it comes to workplace etiquette

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 9, 2009 at 10:29 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

It is quite common for people to feel unsatisfied with their jobs. Surveys conducted at various points in time and in various parts of the world, often indicate that up to 50-60% of people are not happy at work. However, very few of these people will actually do something about this situation.

Reasons for this might include the following:

• Prestige value of the current job
• Money
• Being 'realistic' and assuming that this is how work is supposed to be
• Resistance from family/friends
• Fear of the unknown
• Lack of clarity about alternative options
• It is much easier to keep things as they are

And so people head off to work every morning (with sullen faces) and spend the majority of their day there. The only hope is the weekend, which is what keeps people going. But Sunday evening arrives soon and the cycle starts all over again.

Continue reading "Not satisfied with your job? Do something about it" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 6, 2009 at 11:06 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Self-help books speak about going through the stages of coping with disaster or trauma, and describe the process of denial, anger, sadness, and then ultimate acceptance. Just like the grieving process, there is some type of order that can typically be followed when dealing with bullies at work. And for the sake of clarity - a bully is defined as anyone at work who offensively uses their own authority, intellect or power over another employee, to make that person feel threatened, scared, or endangered. Bullies are everywhere, and most of us have dealt with them at some point in life. How do you deal with bullies without letting them distract you from your work?

1. Disarm with Humor and Friendliness

Though not appropriate for all scenarios, sometimes bullies can be distracted from their bullying ways by some fairly small, not-so-blatant peace offerings. In fact, most of the people I've known who've behaved as bullies at work are often the most insecure or immature people in the whole office, and sadly, the only way they know how to assert themselves or handle conflict is by reverting to the only behavior they've learned works for them - pushing others to a place of fear, so that they themselves can capture some feeling of security. This characteristic also makes them easy to spot, and fool, from a mile away, with some fairly benign disarming tactics. An example of how to disarm a bully is by using humor. Tell a joke - make them feel like they're in on it, like they can relax and let down their wall of insecurity, because they know the joke's not on them. Often if bullies can feel like an 'insider' rather than the person who has to fight their way in, they become more reasonable and easier to deal with.

Continue reading "Dealing with Bullies at Work" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 18, 2009 at 10:58 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

So you've been applying for jobs---perhaps hundreds of them---with no response. Not even the courtesy of an automated email to let you know your resume has been received, right? What do you do? Chalk it up to yet another dead-end? Or act like a squeaky wheel and get noticed?

You've probably heard the saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", right? Do you believe that squeaky wheels get the grease? If so, are you being squeaky...or (passively) waiting for the phone to ring??

What do you have to lose by assertively following up on your applications? Nothing. In fact, it's not what you have to lose, but what you can potentially gain...such as an interview and a job!

Continue reading "Be a Squeaky Wheel " »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 16, 2009 at 3:46 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Yes, managers are under a great deal of pressure turbulent times and all of us are well advised to take this condition into account in managing relationships with them. It has never been more important for everyone to focus on the job at hand, do it in the best way possible and tread lightly so as to avoid undue confrontations.

But there is another side to the coin.

Managers need to keep in mind that employees are under the gun to cut costs, increase production ... in other words, do more with less.

People Are Frightened

It is well to remember that people generally are frightened about their jobs and the future as a whole. It is not possible to read in the morning newspaper and hear on the evening news about companies failing and even the strongest laying off people right and left.

Continue reading "Workers Feeling Job Stress, Too" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 31, 2009 at 6:48 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Last year, I wrote an article about dealing with difficult bosses that listed seven typical troublesome characters like the "micro-manager" or the "absentee" boss. Well, workplace expert, Lynn Taylor, has expanded on that in her book Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior AND Thrive in Your Job. Taylor lists 20 different types of Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) and how to manage each one. This book could be particularly useful to recent graduates who have just landed entry level jobs. With today's job market, no one wants to have to go job hunting unless it's absolutely necessary, so it might be a good idea for anyone with a tyrannical boss to read Taylor's book.

Some may want to blame bad boss behavior on the recession but Taylor says, no dice. "It's a mistake to think too convetionally - that it's the economy's fault," says Taylor, who has studied boss behavior in good times as well as bad. "It is a fact that in the current labor climate, TOTs are in high gear because they hold all the hiring cards," she explains. "Because they also behave this way during any period of stress - even in good times, when there's unwieldy workloads to dole out or when they are just having a bad day."

But Taylor's book isn't about bashing bosses. In fact, she has a section at the back of the book that provides useful advice for bosses with TOT employees. "We are all TOTs inside, but when it comes to the office, the child inside should stay there," says Taylor.

In addition to real-life tales of employees who tames their TOT bosses - or hit the road when their TOTs proved untamable - Taylor also has humorous Dos and Don'ts segments in each chapter to assist employees in their efforts to make their workplaces more pleasant. Some of the TOT types discussed in Taylor's book are:

• Bragging
• Bullying
• Stubbornness
• Self-Centeredness
• Fickleness
• Helplessness
• Mood Swings
• Neediness

Taylor draws on 20 years of experience in corporate America and her experiences with raising two sons. What she discovered is that toddlers and TOTs have a lot in common, and she illustrates this in her book with a table of parallel incidents like:

Whether you're working with TOT employee, coworker or boss, Taylor says that any workplace can be "TOT-proofed" with the help of techniques like "CALM, Communicate, Anticipate, Laugh, and Manage." Taylor considers CALM as one of the most effective methods for dealing with TOTs.

Getting an entry level job these days is tough and with continued layoffs, keeping them seems to be even tougher, so following the advice in Taylor's book is preferable to going on the hunt for another job, except as a last resort.

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 21, 2009 at 6:53 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

If you're an agency or a consultant, then you've faced a needy client one time or another. You know who I'm talking about:

• They call you multiple times a week to get updated on what's going on with the project
• They frantically feel like the world is ending because they haven't seen results since last week's meeting
• They request daily email updates from you
• Meetings are stressful because they want results yesterday and they don't understand that strategy takes time to implement
• They constantly contradict themselves and want to change strategy every few days without waiting for the original strategy to take effect

Client management and interaction is one of the hardest parts of becoming a consultant. You need to conduct yourself in a professional manner, and need to focus on keeping the client emotionally happy. They key here is the emotional part because even if you're hitting your goals and the project is going well, the client can still feel like things are falling apart because emotionally he may feel unsatisfied with the partnership.

Continue reading "How to Deal with a Needy Client" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 17, 2009 at 9:13 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

On Thursday, August 6, Sonia Sotomayor was confirmed as the 111th Justice of the US Supreme Court. As an individual passionate about promoting respectful workplaces, and by extension, respectful societies, I cannot help but celebrate this historic occasion, and applaud President Obama's choice in nominating Ms. Sotomayor.

She is the first Hispanic justice and the third woman to serve. Those that opposed her nomination argued that she would bring her personal biases and a liberal agenda to the bench. Due to some of her comments, she has been accused of allowing empathy as well as her life experience as a Latina woman to interfere with her ability to be impartial.

The sub-text is that white men who still constitute the majority of law makers somehow manage to get through life without having the fact that they are both white and male affect the lens through which they interpret events. They are somehow able to be more impartial, to interpret the law with less bias because they are white men.

Continue reading "Sonia Sotomayor - The Realization of Equality and the Triumph of Hope" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 13, 2009 at 7:21 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Work-related stress is on the rise in North America and with it has come an unprecedented spike in disease, disorders and discontent. Obesity has reached epidemic proportions, heart disease is soaring, divorce rates are mounting and "me" time is becoming obsolete.

Depressed yet?

According to WorkStress.net, some of the primary causes of workplace discontent are...

- long hours;
- incompetent leadership;
- conflicting demands; and
- lack of recognition.

I'm sure you can sympathize with most of these things. Many of us have buckled under the pressures of strict deadlines, zero communication and bureaucratic red tape. Throw into the mix the bumper-to-bumper traffic that commuters are forced to endure and it's a wonder we're still standing, let alone reporting to the office. Continue reading ...

Article by Cheryl Santa Maria and courtesy of Andrew G.R. and jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 12, 2009 at 8:47 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

KPMG is one of the Employers of Choice featured in my book Road to Respect: Path to Profit. I became interested in respect at KPMG after hearing Beth Wilson, Canadian managing partner, speak on diversity in business at the Vancouver Board of Trade in November 2006. I knew that Ms. Wilson and I were singing off the same song sheet when I heard her say that while there is, of course, a clear social reason for business to embrace diversity, there is also a clear business reason.

Two of the issues Ms. Wilson cited were for talent and the war for clients. The current recessionary climate offers an additional reason to embrace respect in the workplace - the need for innovation and creativity. The relationship between innovation, culture and profitability is examined in a new book by Kimberly Davis entitled The Firefly Effect: Build Teams That Capture Creativity and Catapult Results. Ms. Davis argues that innovation is a necessary cultural characteristic for companies seeking success in today's challenging economic reality.

How does one build a culture of innovation? One critical factor, according to Ms. Davis, is a respectful environment. When employees feel safe and respected, creativity flourishes.

In a respectful workplace, employees are not afraid to speak up, or to engage in constructive conflict. On the other hand, disrespectful behaviours like harassment and bullying produce fear based cultures. Fear causes a cone of silence to descend upon employees and is the kiss of death for both innovation and profitability.

When employees are afraid to speak up, when they are afraid to give feedback and challenge the status quo, it is impossible for either creativity or innovation to flourish. As Bob Dylan sang so many years ago, the times they are a changing. We are in a new business reality, one that demands a new business model, based on respect, empowerment and collaboration. Those businesses that don't adapt will, in the words of that famous song, sink like a stone.

Creating a respectful workplace culture will unleash a wealth of creativity and innovation within your employee group. It will attract the best and brightest to your business, and ensure superior ongoing performance and profitability. It is the ultimate win/win for business.

So...what's keeping you from starting your journey on the Road to Respect?

Erica Pinsky, B.A., M.Sc, CHRP, is an engaging and inspirational speaker, author and consultant working with organizations to build respectful and inclusive workplace cultures that attract and retain quality employees. Creative, dynamic and results oriented, Erica is passionate about promoting workplace cultures where employees feel engaged, comfortable and focused on their jobs in an environment free from discrimination, harassment, bullying and destructive conflict. Erica's new book, Road to Respect, Path to Profit gives companies a road map to success in today's challenging business climate.

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 30, 2009 at 2:47 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

One complaint that's often heard in reference to Gen Y employees is that they have a sense of entitlement, which their older coworkers find annoying. According to an article in Fosters Daily Democrat, Want to Work Well? Leave Your Attitude at the Door, UNH Professor Finds in New Research, the sense of entitlement among younger workers is growing, but it can be managed.

Some of the characteristics of people with a sense of entitlement - also known as narcissists - are a tendency to take credit for work they didn't do, to blame others when things go wrong, to cause problems at work and to express dissatisfaction with their jobs, explains Paul Harvey, assistant professor of management at the University of New Hampshire.

Continue reading "A Sense of Entitlement Isn't a Good Fit for the Workplace" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 25, 2009 at 9:24 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

The presence of bullies and jerks in the workplace is not much of a concern for most companies. However, having too many of such people around and not actively avoiding a culture that fosters bullies, is not good practice. In fact it can have quite an impact on company performance and the bottom-line. This is because bullying can (among other things) have an effect on morale, health, productivity, idea generation and employee turnover.

Here are some findings from a study by the Workplace Bullying Institute in America:

• 37% of workers have been bullied
• Most bullies are bosses (72%)
• Most Targets (57%) are women
• 62% of employers ignore the problem
• 45% of Targets suffer stress-related health problems (debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression)
• 40% of bullied individuals never tell their employers

For organisations, the message is clear - seek out workplace bullies and correct their behaviour or fire them. Don't avoid taking action, especially if you feel that the employee is a good performer. The overall contribution he/she has could in fact be negative, when you take into account the effects of bullying.

Continue reading "Bullying in the Workplace" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 24, 2009 at 10:39 AM | Leave a Comment (1)

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a great new job and a great boss, too. Sadly, some people have lousy bosses. In a different economy, one might advise looking for another job. While looking for another job may be the best option, it's wise to explore the many other options available first. In his article for BusinessWeek, How to Handle a Bad Boss, Jeff Schmitt gives the following advice:

1. Don't act immediately - acting in anger or haste is never a good idea.
2. Play the game - grin and bear whatever is happening ... it could be worse.
3. Prepare - gather references and recommendations - just in case. ...
4. Forge alliances - network with colleagues and cultivate a relationship with a mentor.
5. Don't jump to conclusions - a manager's job is tough; the boss deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt.
6. Keep your boss in the loop - ask for advice, work together and do everything possible to make the boss look good and feel worthwhile.
7. Focus on the big picture - concentrate on the overall work experience and learn as much as possible.
8. Wait - a truly bad boss will trip himself up eventually and cause his own downfall.

It's never easy to do a good job for a bad boss, but learning how can make all the difference in the world, especially at a time when few can afford to vote with their feet just because the work environment is less than ideal.

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 1, 2009 at 10:51 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Aren't we just so very proud of ourselves: in a single quantum leap, or so some would have us believe, we've eradicated all forms of overt prejudice. So be it race, religion, ethnicity, color, sexual persuasion, etc., being against (or for) someone for these reasons alone just isn't considered acceptable any longer. And, while this can seem very all-American and an unassailable virtue that even the European Union would be happy about, the reality is that we are really kinda ambivalent about the whole thing. I mean, there's really no way to reconcile being for equality yet also touting affirmative action. Sure, this can be parsed and rationalized in a million ways, but let's just leave that up to the gliberals, the power elite to justify this type of social schizophrenia. And, BTW, they (like the NT Slimes, the Rockefeller Foundation, Mayor 'Mike' Bloomberg, etc. ad nauseum) are real good at having you and I pay-in every way so that they can continue to blithely pursue their social engineering objectives.

We, however, have more important business!

Ironically, and for all of our self-proclaimed modern day liberalism, it seems that there is one prejudice that still stinkingly lurks behind every office door, and each cubicle semi-wall. A hatred, a disgust that is not only acceptable, but very fashionable. And that's the way heavy, fat, and overweight people are perceived and treated-every day and in every way in the workplace. The school yard rejections they suffered have never, ever ended for these folks. Paradoxically, the new wave of bosses, and other assorted exec-types are, in this age of plenty, for the most part, anorexic. You know them, the earthy, crunchy, vegan urbanists who flaunt their gauntness by, of all things, wearing basic black so as to further accentuate what they see as almost imperial slimness. Hey, if they want to starve themselves, that's their business. Continue reading ...

Article by Victor Kipling and courtesy of Andrew G.R. and jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 1, 2009 at 6:19 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

If you have been reading my latest blogs, you know that I have recently started a new job. And with a new job at a large institution or corporation comes a new hire orientation.

As I was spacing out during the most recent video installment of this particular institution's history, it dawned on me that orientation is not necessarily the most effective way to integrate a new employee to a company's culture. It is certainly a nice gesture for the executives and top management to speak to the group about customer service and how great the company/institution is to work at.

But c'mon. Can you really capture a company's work ethic, culture, positives, negatives, and more in a few hours or days (depending on how much time is allocated)? The answer is no. The majority of new hire orientation is spent droning on about benefits, retirement, and why this is the best company you will ever work for. Continue reading ...

Article by, Lauren Kleinman and courtesy of Andrew G.R. and jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on March 16, 2009 at 9:53 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

The fire department in Darien, Conn., handles 10 to 15 structure fires each year, including brush fires, house fires, and store fires. In addition, the team responds to about 600 calls per year to provide any emergency service not handled by the police.

Taking the Heat

On a 100-degree summer day with 80 percent humidity, painters set to work removing old layers of paint from a big old house on the water in Darien, Conn., as part of a renovation. The job was made more difficult because of several layers of roofing. The combination of the heat from the stripping gun and the weather started a fire that burned for eight hours and destroyed everything, including an attic full of antiques, despite the heroic efforts of firefighters including Steve Palmer and Scott Barker. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

Neither Palmer nor Barker has ever helped get a cat out of a tree. But these volunteer firefighting veterans have repeatedly battled one of the most destructive forces in nature.

Continue reading "Dream Job: Firefighter" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on February 20, 2009 at 3:14 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Upper management has the uncanny ability to make us instantly feel like crap. A little snipe on their end can do more damage than they'll ever realize.

After completing an internship where I put in 40-plus hour weeks for no pay and no credit (and excelled!), I was sniped on my last day of work.

Upon a tiny mistake...

"Andrew's letting it all go to $&#% on his last day."

The 'boss' will never know how much that comment stung. I take pride in everything I do; from Day 1 to endgame.

In theory, we're all supposed to let these meaningless comments bounce off of us. (I'm rubber you're glue, everything you say sticks back to you). Reality check: very few people forget.

REMINDERS FOR EMPLOYEES:

Don't take these uncalled for reprimands personally. The negative comment could simply be the result of a 'bad day.' You have no idea what your boss is wrestling with personally, so try to give him/her the benefit of the doubt. This is assuming these comments are few and far between. If these types of comments become the rule instead in the exception, you might consider asking your boss if there's a problem.

"I've noticed recently you've been commenting on XYZ, is there something I can do differently?"

I often find once you call what they are doing to their attention, they'll cut it out. Continue reading ...

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on February 16, 2009 at 8:34 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

There are now offcially too many outlets where employees can anonymously rate their workplace. With so many factors affecting each person's work expeirence, the information on these boards are only a tiny slice of the pie, not the whole picture.

Getting some of that workplace frustration off your chest can be very theraputic, just be sure to not let the angry exercise become routine.

Last year we put together the Jobacle Master List of Job Vent sites. The latest to come to our attention is Jobeehive. What differentiates the site from the pack is that you must submit information about your employer before February 11, 2009 in order to help determine their overall score for 2008. Continue reading about job vent sites ...

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on January 19, 2009 at 8:55 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

If you're starting out as a new professional, changing jobs, or changing careers, the following list of assumptions can help make your transition a bit smoother.

Continue reading "Quick Tips: 10 assumptions you SHOULD be making" »

Posted by Grace Kutney on January 11, 2009 at 12:38 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Back in the 50s, admitting you were a communist at work would be enough to land you in jail, so you'd keep your mouth shut. But nowadays, people will divulge any and all details about themselves to colleagues. The question is, what do you do when a close co-worker expresses attitudes or beliefs that are in sharp contrast to your own?

A Jewish friend e-mailed me about this issue last week. She and a group of her colleagues were eating lunch at a table in the cafeteria, and her cubicle mate started going off about the Israeli offensive in Gaza and how despicable it was. He's Palestinian, but I guess they'd never had the occasion to discuss the conflict before. My friend's a staunch supporter of Israel, and she didn't know what to do. Suddenly she felt offended by this guy she'd always liked and resented that he'd brought his unwelcome political stance into their comfortable little world.

She asked for my advice, and I sympathetically said that it sounded like a difficult situation, which it is. If you're in a similar one, I recommend that you try to let your co-worker's different ideology go unless it affects your daily working life. Not everyone can always share your point of view, so instead of fixating on the negative information you've just uncovered, focus on the positive aspects of the person and what you like and respect about him. Also, remember that working at an office with someone is not the same as becoming his best friend. If you keep things casual and don't expect more, the two of you shouldn't need to butt heads.

Article by Alexandra Levit and courtesy of Water Cooler Wisdom blog.

Posted by Candice Arnold on January 9, 2009 at 1:18 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

This just in from a WCW reader: "Dear Alex, my new department works really hard. How can I maintain the work/life balance I've tried so desperately to attain?"

One of my favorite managers used to say that perception is reality, and there is nothing stronger than a perception formed on the basis of a first impression. Whether you have a clock-watcher as a boss or not, it's crucial that you are on your best behavior during your first month at a new job. Be aware that everyone is watching you, so make sure to arrive on time for work. Remember that half the battle is showing up, so don't get caught by someone's attendance radar.

It's not a bad idea to be seen eating lunch at your desk a few times so that your coworkers keep that image in their minds. If you do go out, don't run over the allotted hour, and refrain from midday workouts at the gym until you're well established at the company. At the end of the day, carefully watch what time people in your department leave the office. You should aim to depart at the midpoint. You don't want to be the first one out the door, but if you're the last one, you'll set a precedent that you are willing to work through dinner for the rest of your days at that company.

In a department that continually emphasizes work over personal time, it's critical that you make sure your boss and colleagues see early on that you have a life outside business hours. Remind your manager about the leadership class you take on Thursday evenings, or the important volunteer work you do on the weekends. Don't get into the habit of breaking plans with family or friends so that you can get one step closer to burnout. Remember that in most cases, the work will be there to finish tomorrow.

It should go without saying - but I'll say it anyway - that you should work hard at your job too. If you prefer to take the easy way out and get in and out of the office without breaking a sweat, then this is probably not the right place for you. But if you always get your work done, stay late under unique circumstances where it's truly necessary, and even log in occasionally at an odd hour, you will be perceived as a hard-working, can-do employee regardless of the physical hours spent in the office.

Article by Alexandra Levit and courtesy of Water Cooler Wisdom blog.

Posted by Candice Arnold on December 31, 2008 at 12:40 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

A question posted on the MarketingProfs.com forum that I regularly contribute to asked about what to do with what sounded like a narcisistic boss. Here were my thoughts;

Unfortunately situations like this are not as uncommon as you might think. Sounds like your supervisor is either inexperienced or has been trained in the old management model of control and fear.

Short of leaving to find a better situation and assuming you are not alone in being dealt with this way here are some thoughts:

- find someone with longer tenure who works or has worked in the past for this supervisor. Did they find similar things happening? How did they deal with it?

- what are your supervisors expectations? Do you know in detail what your key performance indicators (what you are going to be judged on) are?

Continue reading "Does your boss listen to you?" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on November 24, 2008 at 6:27 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Emotions are at its worst within the first few hours of receiving the news of a layoff or on the news of being fired. It is at this point that some violent or self-destructive emotions can arise in a person.

Many people are highly stressed out by the current economic conditions and if losing your home wasn't enough of a mental pressure one is already facing, losing the job and if it is the only source of income for the family - there is a high probability that such tremendous mental and financial tension could result in a negative outburst and violence. Not that most of us react in similar way but sure enough the instances are increasing.

In September this year fired Indian workers lynched CEO. Corporate India is in shock after a mob of workers bludgeoned to death the chief executive who sacked them from a factory in a suburb of Delhi.

Another recent tragic and shocking killing at SiPort by an employee fired the same day of the killing brings forth some frightful workplace scenarios, especially when the world economy takes on a nosedive every other week and the layoffs are on the rise.

In April 2007, a gunman shot a hostage and himself at NASA's Johnson Space Center, the reason was stated to be a bad performance review that may have sparked the shooting.

Continue reading "Workplace Violence- Will we see more of it as the Layoffs become Widespread? " »

Posted by Candice Arnold on November 20, 2008 at 8:25 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

It's sad that the prevalence of bullying and disrespect in the workplace demand the creation of a Web site like RespectfulWorkplace.com. But since the need does exist, it's good that someone chose to fill it. In a recent newsletter, author, Melanie Sklarz, addresses the issue of increased legislation to "prevent workplace bullying" that's based on employees' sexual orientation.

I may be wrong, but I believe that every employer, including the numerous temp agencies I was once registered with, make employees sign non-harassment clauses or something to that effect. It isn't the laws themselves that will make a difference, but the consistent enforcement of them. If what we read in the news and on the Internet is true, then the policies or laws that are currently in place to make people feel safe at work aren't being consistently enforced. This doesn't set a good example for college students on site doing internships or to recent college graduates interviewing for entry-level jobs.

"Attitudinal and behavioral changes must be evident in senior leaders before the rest of an organization modifies its course. Regardless of laws, newsletters, bulletin board postings and company mission statements, what employees and mid-level managers witness in the corner offices sets the tone for everyone else," Sklarz said.

A person's sexual orientation is his own business. How well the person does his job and makes an effort to fit into the company culture should carry much more weight.

Posted by Candice Arnold on October 9, 2008 at 7:28 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

As you gather information in choosing a career, these recent Gallup polls may give you some perspective and suggest work issues worth researching further:

• 48% of Americans are "completely satisfied" with their jobs, and 42% more are "somewhat satisfied."
• 57% of older workers (55+) were "completely satisfied" as opposed to 42% of younger workers (18-34)
• Large majorities of people are dissatisfied with job-related stress, pay, retirement plans, promotional opportunities, and health benefits.
• Over half of Americans (51%), particularly low to middle-income people, feel they are underpaid.

I was surprised at the level of job satisfaction, although Gallup cautioned in its analysis that people appreciate their jobs more in difficult economic times. But unsurprisingly, job-related stress, pay and benefits (amount of vacation time, retirement, health) top the list for creating dissatisfaction.

As you weigh the pros and cons of your career options, include these top three issues. Pay is always on everyone's list of important career information, but job-related stress may be under your radar.

When you talk with someone about their career, make sure to ask them about how stressful their job is, and what factors cause stress. Is it a supervisor or employer that can be changed, or is it in the nature of the work? For example, a research scientist may need to seek financial support from the federal government through grants every 2 years. Having one's job security or project depend on this kind of funding may be stressful. But people handle this type of pressure in different ways - how does the person you're interviewing handle it? How do you think you might handle it?

Learning more about the negative aspects of a career and deciding how you will deal with them, before you make a choice, will help you avoid joining the ranks of the dissatisfied later.

Article by, Juliet Wehr Jones, J.D. and courtesy of Career Key, striving to help all people make the best career choices, worldwide.

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 23, 2008 at 9:52 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

According to a CNN.com story, more than 25% of Americans between ages 18 and 50 have at least one tattoo. The percentage jumps another 10 points when you narrow the age range to 18 to 29. Roughly simplified, at least one in three or four people in the workplace will likely have a tattoo. Look around...do you see any of your co-workers sporting a little body art? Are you?

Tattoos are not covered under your civil or constitutional rights. While you absolutely have a right to get one, don't expect an employer to hire you if there's a concern about how clients might perceive you. For some employers, a dress code is critical to the branding and image of the organization. A tattoo may well be outside of the employer's guidelines. For most customers, their perceptions are their realities.

However, tattoos are a reality and an employer may hire a qualified candidate and have a requirement that all tattoos remain covered by appropriate business attire while the employee is on the clock.

Think about the following before you get a tattoo (or your next tattoo):

Consider the message you're conveying. Part of this is about the perceived reality of others and part of it is about the "message" of the tattoo. The same rules apply to the tattoo that applies to interviewing: avoid controversy. It's like dating -- you don't want to turn off your "date" before he or she gets to know you.

Location, location, location. The real estate market has it right; it's all about location. Choose locations on your body that will likely be covered by your work attire and focus your art there. No harm, no foul.

Limit the number of tattoos you have. Most people, even the most conservative, can handle a tasteful tattoo and can rationalize it as youthful indiscretion. However, when the tattoos start creeping up your neck and down your arms Miami Ink-style, people provide their own reality and credibility tests to you.

Your dress for success strategy should include a critical evaluation of how others will perceive and respond to you. Businesses ultimately want to make money and exceptional relationships between employees and customers translate into more money. If customers can't connect with you because of the distraction of your body art, you may want to reconsider how you're expressing yourself.

Sharon DeLay is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and Certified Professional Career Coach. You can visit her at Permanent Ink Professional Development Services or e-mail her for more information.

Posted by Sharon DeLay on September 15, 2008 at 12:24 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

This is a guest post by Lauren Kleinman.

You glance longingly over to the empty cubicle next to yours. Nobody's home.

Why is it that your cubicle neighbor is always there less than you? It's not because they are busy with important meetings or running errands for your boss, but because they are outside with their smoky treats. They are determined and persistent, weathering not only the good days but the rainy and stormy days as well to feed the daily habit.

Do not misunderstand; many smokers take only their two allotted 15 minutes break in addition to their lunch break. However, those that take advantage of this system get under my skin. Unfortunately for the work smokers (and I cannot deny that I was in that category at one point in a past stressful job), there are other consequences than just criticism for frequent smoke breaks.

* Smoking can be a sign of weakness to management.

* It creates a certain perception at work. Smoking is a controversial topic these days, and it depends which person is making the perception whether it is good or bad. Regardless, there is always a stigma attached to the title of "smoker."

* You smell. Sorry, I don't have a nice way to say it. Although I have given up work smoking completely, I enjoy the occasional with a beer. I smell when I do it, and so do you.

Some employers are completely banning smoking areas at the work site, while others are looking for employees to sign non-smoking clauses to cut down on health insurance costs. The heyday of smoking at work is over. Coming from a fellow nicotine addict, I understand how difficult it can be to kick the habit. However, if you have certain aspirations at work, that should be reason enough to keep your smoking habit separate from your work life. If quitting still isn't an option, use only your allotted break times and freshen up afterwards.

Are we in agreement?

Article courtesy of Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 15, 2008 at 10:50 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Time might heal all wounds, but it certainly doesn't solve all business problems. In the working world, most of us are at the mercy of the clock: punching in, lunch hours, time cards and so on. Early in our careers we are trained to be as efficient as possible, cramming our hours to be multi-tasked to the max. One lesson seldom taught in the power of inefficiency. I've already talked about how the 'experts' waste time at work. Today we're going to look at clock stoppers. These are bosses who know how to get your projects stuck in quicksand, and in the process, stop you in your tracks - or at least slow you down to a tortoise's crawl.

Here's how they do it...

DROWNING IN PAPERWORK. Paper has power. It can make things move forward or grind them to a halt. Usually, the more of it there is, the longer the delay. Any boss worth his/her salt knows the best way to get an employee off their back is to ask them to produce more paper. It could be a memo that gets rewritten to death or a request to provide backing documentation for every move you wish to make. This busy work will keep you at bay, spinning your wheels for days...weeks...months...

WARNING SIGNS. Your desk is filled with folders and binders. Yet, when it's time for your annual review, you realize you've accomplished nothing.

UNAPPROACHABLE. Looking busy at work is an art form. If your boss wants to get you off his/her back he'll make himself scarce. And when you do see him, he'll be harried as hell. You'll begin to doubt yourself and worry that you will be bothering him with your needs. He clearly has bigger fish to fry, right? In lieu of being the "busy" boss, your fearless leader might take the "dick" approach. This is where he makes you feel stupid and/or small when you ask him something.

WARNING SIGNS. You make excuses to avoid asking your boss anything.

YES, AND I'M SORRY. Human nature has us longing to hear the word 'yes.' Yes to a date. Yes to a marriage proposal. Yes to that long-awaited promotion. But what happens when yes is just an empty three-letter word? Let's say you ask your boss for something and he says 'yes.' A few days go by and you check in for a status update. You're met with a terse response, 'give it some time.' How many times before you stop asking? If your boss knows you'll eventually give up (he's banking on it), he'll opt for this approach. Sorry is a get out of jail free card that ends all conversations.

WARNING SIGNS. "Yes" and 'I'm sorry"

TALK TO DEATH. If your boss wants you to stop asking about X or Y, he/she might constantly bring it up. It's sort of like a supervisor's filibuster. The goal here is to agitate you to the point that you drop the topic altogether. Since this move requires work on the boss's part, it's only used in extreme cases.

WARNING SIGNS. Your boss does all of the talking and you squirm quietly in your chair.

PLEASE RE-PRIORITIZE. Since your boss controls what you work on on a day-to-day basis, one of the easiest moves he can make is to give you a project that is 'more pressing' than the item you're asking about. Before you know it, that project that was once a priority, is sitting on the bottom of the heap.

WARNING SIGNS. Urgency turns to silence.

There are plenty of other stall tactics that bosses employ. What have you experienced? Let us know if you're stuck in quicksand and we'll send the Jobacle rescue crew!

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 6, 2008 at 1:10 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Surviving the transition from nursing school to your first job as an RN can make the difference between a successful career and early burnout-especially for new minority and male nurses

You've spent four years in nursing school, reading, training and practicing. Then it happens. You graduate. Suddenly, someone else's life is in your hands.

The transition from student nurse to practicing RN can seem abrupt, even after years of preparation. Many nursing educators believe it's too sudden-and one reason why so many newly graduated nurses leave the profession after just a few years.

"If students don't understand what a nurse does [in an actual workplace setting], they don't know what to expect. They tend to burn out early and leave the profession," says Connie Rowles, RN, DSN, CNNA, a clinical associate professor at Indiana University School of Nursing (IUSON) in Indianapolis.

Indeed, nurses are leaving the field at a record pace. A recent study conducted by Julie Sochalski, RN, PhD, of the University of Pennsylvania reveals that new nurses are abandoning the profession at much faster rates than they did just 10 years ago. Four percent of new female nurses drop out within four years of earning their RN licensure; for males, the figure is almost double (7.5%).

Making a smooth transition from the college campus to the "real world" of that first nursing job is difficult for everyone. But new graduates who are racial, ethnic or gender minorities often face unique transitional challenges that majority nurses are spared. In many parts of the country, new minority nurses entering the RN workforce may find that they are the only person or color, or the only man, on their unit or even an entire floor.

Shanae Monger, RN, BSN, a recent IUSON graduate who is African American, has experienced this situation firsthand. "Some people still assume that I am an assistant," she says. "They ask me to get the nurse. That could be because of both my youth and my race. Either way, it's their problem and I don't let it get to me."

This feeling of being "alone in a crowd" can not only cause minority nurses to burn out early in their careers but also prevent them from planning for future leadership roles, believes Marsha Tahquechi, RN, CNM, director of the Diversity Mentorship Program at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.

"Nursing in general does not have a very diverse workforce," she notes. "This makes it harder to make the transition from student to professional. It can be a very stressful time when you're joining an organization, and it's complicated when others are unfamiliar with our cultural backgrounds. A lot of the problems minority nurses have to overcome can be seen in the fact that there's not a lot of nurses from diverse backgrounds in hospital management."

Tahquechi, an American Indian of Mohawk and Comanche descent, has had her own experiences working in culturally insensitive environments. Because her skin is fair, she says, people often assume that she is Hispanic or Caucasian.

"It's very disheartening when everyone makes a general assumption about who you are in terms of your culture and background," she adds. "That seems to happen less often when you have nurses of diverse backgrounds on the floor."

Read the full article at MinorityNurse.com

Article by, Debra Williams and courtesy of www.careersandcolleges.com

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 5, 2008 at 12:26 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Ever have a new person start at your office who within a week is acting as if they own the place? Don't blame the person, blame the organization (or your co-workers).

Sure we want to make the rookie comfortable. Gone are the days of office hazing. (You know, stapling shrimp under a person's chair). The same way we train a dog, it's important to establish ground rules with the newbie early on, and enforce them consistently.

This might sound cruel, but it's especially important for people who work closely with the new hire. The logic is simple - assuming you aspire to grow within the organization, you will need the respect of your peers. Plus, you'll make the transition easier when you finally get that deserved bump. Redefining roles is a cumbersome workplace challenge. Why make things harder on yourself? Including the rookie in every conversation and bringing them up to speed on every in-joke is a mistake.

We leave breadcrumbs in all relationships, yet going forward is so much easier than going back.

I think the value of 'paying dues' is highly overstated. Whether you like it or not , your organization has a hierarchy - don't fight it. And don't try to be everyone's best friend. The lines you draw today are the foundation for tomorrow.

Respect should be earned - but wouldn't you rather have it sooner than later?

If you ARE the 'new' person, you need to make an effort to fit in without appearing desperate for acceptance.

A JOBACLE TIP: Be yourself from the start, just with a little extra oomph. New people tend to be too friendly and too smiley from the start. Two months down the road, when you're no longer trying as hard to impress, people will draw one of two conclusions:

1) You are a phony
2) You've learned to hate the job

Neither bodes well for you.

Be nice. Be friendly. Be professional. But there's no need to be best friends. Keep your work/life balance in check by keeping people on the other side of the aisle. Great relationships will form naturally. Give them some time to grow.

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 28, 2008 at 1:02 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

The boss is always the boss, but that doesn't mean he is always right. You are well served on your career path when you accept this fundamental truth and learn to deal constructively with it. Your boss and the organization that employs both of you will also be better off. Bosses often have a way of appearing to be infallible. In fact, it iseasier for them to be right, or appear to be right, than it is for those whom they supervise.

Bosses have access to more data and resources. They have more control over circumstances. Moreover, we tend to assume (often with a little nudging from them) that they are always right. Still, bossesdo make mistakes.

Career Tip: Help The Boss Deal With His Mistakes

A primary responsibility of subordinates is to help their bosses to avoid making mistakes and to help correct errors once they are committed.

Some bosses want to blame others. They are like the humorist James Thurber,who made a mistake in placing a telephone call and then demanded of the person who answered and told him he had the wrong number, "Well, if I calledthe wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

It is not easy to tell the boss he is wrong, nor is it without risks. Even under the best of circumstance, most bosses don't relish hearing that message. But then who does? Nevertheless, the bosses (and subordinates) who are going to be successful don't shoot the messenger. They grit their teeth,hear the truth and take corrective action.

Career Tip: Put Off Action That Will Lead To Mistake

Sometimes, it is best to avoid supervisor making a mistake by not carrying out an order or by procrastinating until the situation cools down. This is particularly effective if your boss is given to temper fits during which heacts rashly.

In a rage, President Kennedy ordered the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission to punish the NBC television network, through whatever means possible, for a news report it had broadcast. The FCC chief sat on the order and did nothing for several days. He then told Mr. Kennedy that he had not followed his orders, making the point that the chief executive was fortunate to have people working for him who were too loyal to carry out every order post haste. By then The President had cooled down and agreed with the tactic.

In one of his books, President Nixon wrote of how he was frustrated becausehis aides declined to carry out his orders. On the other hand, those staff members say they were protecting him from making mistakes.

It is a matter of history that the president and the country would have been spared a great deal of trauma if those aides had ignored his orders that resulted in the Watergate scandal.

Career Tip: Not All Mistakes Are Worth Correcting

Before telling the boss he is wrong, be sure the mistake is worth the effort. Some mistakes made don't make any material difference. They are just pains in the backside. But if the problem is material, bite the bulletand speak up.

Career Tip: Success Is In Delivering The Message

Of course, a great deal depends on how the message is delivered. Obviously,it is not wise to declare, "Boss, you are wrong." Never discuss the supervisor's mistakes with those who are not involved in making thecorrection. When you have to point out an error, make the message as impersonal as possible. Do not point fingers or become accusatory. Be sure you have thefacts to support your case and stick to them. Wrap the message in diplomatic language.

"Have you noticed that ...? "

"What would happen if we took another approach?"

"I am not being critical but ... "

"I know you would want me to tell you about ... "

Offer to help. Always have a suggestion for corrective action or a better way to do something so the mistake will not be repeated.

Take your fair share, and more, of the responsibility if you have had a role in creating the error.

Remember, this is not a game of "gotcha" in which you see how many times you catch the boss in a mistake. Don't keep score. Your trip on the career path will be smoother and more rewarding when you follow these career tips.

Article by, Ramon Greenwood, a career counselor with common sense advice on how to achieve your career goals. To subscribe to Ramon Greenwood's free semi-monthly newsletter and blog, go to Common Sense at Work Ramon's take-it-to-the bank advice comes from a world of experience, including serving as Senior Vice President of American Express, an entrepreneur, professional director, career coach and author.

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 25, 2008 at 11:53 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

According to The Alliance for Board Diversity in their study Women and Minorities on Fortune 100 Boards:

• Men, and white men in particular, occupy the vast majority of the 1,219 board seats, at 82.94% and 71.53% respectively.
• In contrast, all women -- and, in particular, white women -- hold 17.06% and 13.04% respectively.
• All women and minority men constitute 28.47% of board member seats.

Their conclusion: Corporate directors remain predominately white and male.

What's up with that?

Article by Melanie Holmes, Vice President of World of Work Solutions for Manpower, and courtesy of Manpower's Contemporary Working blog. Melanie shares Manpower's extensive knowledge while building strategic partnerships with government, universities and other leadership organizations across the country. She is also responsible for social responsibility at Manpower, which includes diversity, volunteerism, community involvement, community relations, philanthropy and workforce development.

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 25, 2008 at 8:02 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

This is a guest post by Lauren Kleinman.

Whether you are physically carrying the baby or an expecting father, your work life will change when welcoming a child to the family. Everyone understands that; everyone expects that. However, enter a new policy by your company that allows you to bring your children to work, and you're looking at not only a change to your work environment, but a change to your fellow employees' work environment as well.

What?! How unfair, right?

In an effort to become more "family-friendly" and promote "work-life balance," non-traditional companies are allowing people to bring their babies into work. I'm not talking about a soundproof daycare center located on the first floor either. This is in the next cubicle over. The next desk over. The next office over.

The real quandary is how does this affect the productivity of the parent bringing the baby in, and the cubicle neighbors of that parent?

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for finding work-life balance. I quit a job that didn't allow for a social life, and I am following a new career that allows for a life, but better yet, will allow me to be a working mother in the future.

Even with my passionate feelings over a work-life balance, I can't seem to grasp how this could possibly work! Unless there are closed offices or a nanny comes with the baby, this seems a recipe for a disaster.

Is this occurring at your workplace? If so, what are your thoughts on this new family-friendly concept?

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 17, 2008 at 5:53 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

I read the BEST article on NY Times on Friday and HAD to share it here.

The article called. "Before You Pilfer That Cupcake ..." was written by LISA BELKIN and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did - especially if you work in or have ever worked in an office!

I hope you had a good weekend!!

------

DEAR Colleague:

When you can tear yourself away for a moment from text-messaging friends during meetings and humming along with your iPod deskside, we need to talk. It's about your manners.
You may have some, but we think you've forgotten to bring them to the office lately.

What's with the toilets that go unflushed, the inconsiderate and somewhat alarming noises coming from your carrel (are you really clipping your toenails?) and the science experiments in the office refrigerator that are the remains of last Friday's lunch?

Hint: Your mother doesn't work here.

We, your fellow workers, admit we are crankier than usual and more easily annoyed lately. Not only do we arrive hot and sticky and leave under the threat of thunderstorms, but there's this economic downturn, so our days are stressed.

Finding that you have once again "borrowed" our stapler and desk chair, and helped yourself to the Milk Duds we keep for emergencies ... Well, let's just say your stash of purloined toilet paper that you use when the communal supply runs out is in serious danger. (You think we don't know where it is?)

Pushing your co-workers to the edge has consequences. Take one of our heroines: Lynne R. Viccaro. Every day her work at her former marketing job on Long Island was made all but impossible by a woman at a nearby desk who had an enmeshed relationship with her cellphone. It was also her home phone, and therefore rang all the time. Its ring tone ("Get the Party Started," by Pink) was set at rock-concert decibels, and despite direct requests from surrounding colleagues, the woman never changed the setting to vibrate.

Continue reading "Office Manners..." »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 15, 2008 at 10:20 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

How to manage your career during an economic downturn
By Nimish Thakkar

The economy is reeling under the pressures of a downturn. Unemployment rates are staggering and layoffs are at an all-time high. The current economic climate calls for a robust career management plan, one that will, despite the recession-like conditions, catapult your career to new heights.

Consider the following tips:

Take stock

Evaluate your professional standing and key trends within your industry, company, and profession. What do you need to change? How can you do it? How does your profession look five years from now? Two years from now? What threats do you foresee? What opportunities exist?

Based on your analysis, develop a comprehensive action plan that will help you leverage your strengths and overcome your weaknesses.

Network aggressively

Networking is not a post-layoff or when-you-feel-like-doing-it activity. All successful professionals incorporate networking as an integral and active component of their career management plan. Tradeshows, conferences, industry and social events, online networking tools--networking opportunities have never been so easily accessible.

Position yourself

What is your value proposition? What is so unique about you that employers will want to retain you irrespective of what happens to the company financially? We all have something unique to offer and if you can develop a powerful value proposition demonstrating how indispensable you are, you will be in a much better position that most professionals.

Invest in professional development

This is the Information Age, an environment in which information becomes obsolete faster than fashion. Through continuing education programs and other professional development efforts, it is very important to stay abreast with the cutting-edge of your profession.

Demonstrate leadership and the ability to take on challenges

The economy inevitably imposes financial strains on any company and under such conditions every employee is expected to do more--take more work, manage multiple tasks, lead projects, and epitomize "cross-functional" in every sense of the term.

Try to volunteer on projects and take on leadership roles. The key is to demonstrate how you can contribute toward the organization's success and deliver an optimal ROI for the company.

Update your resume

Update your resume every month, if not every week. Highlight your recent accomplishments and create a powerful document that will position you as the perfect solution for any employer's needs.

Keep your options open

With all the above strategies, keep your eyes open to new opportunities. Through a portfolio of job search strategies, including networking, you should generate a steady stream of job leads.

Effective career management is an ongoing effort. Once employers recognize how valuable you are, recession or growth, they will do everything they can to retain you.

Nimish Thakkar is a sought-after career management coach and professional resume writer. He has helped thousands of clients through his Resume Writing Service and Free Career Information site. Thakkar holds two graduate degrees, including an MBA. He is also a graduate of the prestigious Career Coach Academy. Nimish can be reached at nimish@resumecorner.com

Posted by Nimish T on July 3, 2008 at 1:35 PM

Here's how the story usually goes:

"I HAD to leave. My boss was determined to make my life miserable."

In my experience, both personal and secondary, I have discovered that in the majority of cases, the failure of the relationship lies on the employee, not the boss or the organization.

People who tend to get 'unlucky' and experience this misfortune over and over again, usually can use a little self-reflection. Start with these questions:

- Have you had more than one 'horrific' boss who 'drove you crazy?'

- Do you find yourself thinking very bad thoughts (not in a good way) about a current or former boss?

- Do you feel these 'evil' bosses not only held you back but went out of their way to keep you down or make you miserable?

- Were you or are you so desperate to find a new job that you're willing to work anywhere, earning just about anything?

If you answer 'yes' to most of these questions for more than one job, there is a good chance that you will need to adjust your mindset in order to achieve career success. As someone who once suffered from this dreadful illness, I'll let you know what worked for me.

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Like any addiction, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

THEY ARE HUMAN. It's important to remember that your boss does not transcend humanity. They breathe the same air and have plenty of their own problems to deal with. So don't be sensitive.

YOU'RE NOT A VICTIM. When you feel yourself falling into a 'Negative Boss Pattern' (NBP) remind yourself that you've had this problem before and that the issue might be with you.

ARE YOU SURE? I keep these three words taped on my computer monitor. Every time I feel myself reacting strongly towards a boss's action, I ask myself, 'Am I sure?' More often that not, I am NOT sure. So I take a deep breath, regain my clarity and try to take things in stride.

I'M IN CONTROL. You might feel overwhelmed with a feeling or a sentiment towards your boss - but you have the power to change. It'll be difficult at first because there's a good chance you've been repeating this thought over and over in your head. But with enough practice you can stop that negative thought and replace it with something positive - or at least neutral. You can't control your boss, but you can control your thoughts and the way you react.

The boss from hell DOES exist. I'm not implying that the onus for a sour work experience is all on you. I'm merely suggesting you look inward and identify a pattern before you find yourself making the same work mistake again and again.

It's also important to spot subordinates and colleagues who suffer from NBP. It'll help you carve out an approach to deal with them, keeping in mind, of course, that they probably don't know they have a problem. Unless they read this blog.

Take out that mirror, take a good hard look and share the blame - I'm willing to bet there's enough to go around.

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 30, 2008 at 12:03 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

A lack of respect in the workplace is prevalent enough for there to be a Web site devoted to reversing the trend. but what about intolerance? Or are intolerance and disrespect the same thing? Dr. Steve L. Robbins, president of Steve L. Robbins & Associates, has a list of "Seven Signs of Unintentional Intolerance" that you can review and decide for yourself how these behaviors compare to general acts of disrespect.

1. Extracurricular D&I programs. When diversity and inclusion workshops are presented as extracurricular activities, a company's commitment to cultural competency is merely lip service. A serious D&I program is just that -- not some "extra" that's subject to cost cutting down the road.

2. High turnover. Do certain groups of people seem to come and go? If the turnover rate is significantly higher for women or particular ethnic groups -- Hispanics, Asians, African-Americans, and others -- a red flag is in tall order.

3. Poor performance. It's people -- not systems or structures -- who are blamed for performance problems. Yet, poor performance and productivity often results from other factors -- workplace stressors, lack of opportunity, and flat-out exclusion, among them.

4. Heavy-handed decisions. Discouraged from taking risks or trying something new? Is "my way or the highway" the edict from on high? While a single method for getting things done may seem efficient, it discourages new and different perspectives and virtually ignores diverse talent and ideas.

5. Homogenous leaders. Is management -- from department heads to C-level execs -- an all-white boys' club? Companies that truly value diversity and inclusion practice what they preach -- and have a full range of people in leadership roles.

6. Water-cooler slights. All those "innocent" jokes -- mocking age, gender, race, religion, body size, and more -- speak volumes about a company's culture and its tolerance of disrespectful actions and behaviors. The use of mascots or symbols, as well as the celebration of "exclusive" holidays, can also spell trouble.

7. Same ol' suppliers. Companies that are fully committed to building an inclusive organization also seek out new and diverse suppliers. As a result, they not only honor their commitment, but often become more competitive as well.

It would seem that Robbins' list is just another way of pointing out that America really isn't a melting pot after all, but is rather - as someone else once said - more like a salad bowl. And "unintentional intolerance" is synonymous with disrespect.

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 25, 2008 at 2:10 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Let's be straight; most people do not like meetings. When asked why meetings are so distasteful, the typical worker's response often goes like this, "Don't get me started with meetings. Our company's meetings are a complete waste of time." Indeed Roger Mosvick and Robert Nelson (1987) found that employees commonly dislike meetings for a variety of reasons; these reasons include the leader was not prepared, the meeting was irrelevant, and a certain group of people kept getting off the subject.

Since meetings are a must for successful companies, it is helpful to periodically review the principles of high-quality meetings. These principles include: First, the effective manager masters time. John Cragan, David Wright, and Chris Kasch (2004) recommend that meetings are purposeful and take no more time than necessary. To ensure this, a manager should distribute an agenda in advance so that employees know what to anticipate in the meeting and can prepare to participate in it.

Second, the effective manager gives attention to employee satisfaction. Meetings are excellent opportunities to boost morale. Managers should take the time to recognize employee accomplishments and seek feedback. Once a meeting has finished, a manager should send a short email reiterating what was accomplished in the meeting to reinforce its value. This is especially important for groups that meet once a week or less.

Third, the effective manager seeks consensus. Consensus occurs when employees arrive at a decision that everyone can support. Research indicates that employees are more productive when they've been a part of the decision making process (Keyton, 2002). Consensus works best when it develops from group interaction and is not forced by a manager. Moreover, consensus tends to encourage future collaboration. Keep these principles in mind, and your employees will benefit from, and recognize the importance of, company meetings.

By: Dr. Philip Aust, a professor at Kennesaw State University (KSU). He teaches Organizational Communication Audits, Leadership, Training and Development, and Research Methods in the Department of Communication at KSU.

Article courtesy of the Recruiting Blogswap, a content exchange service sponsored by CollegeRecruiter.com, a leading site for college students looking for internships and recent graduates searching entry-level jobs and other career opportunities.

Posted by Lisa Colbert, CollegeRecruiter.com on June 23, 2008 at 10:04 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Do you ever go to work and feel like you're in high school? If you have, you're not alone. According to KDKA radio's lifestyle editor, Shelley Duffy, the same personality types you encountered in high school show up in the workplace. Workplace communication and leadership expert, Peggy Klaus, who was interviewed by Duffy for her morning news broadcast "Now You Know ...," said the office "is like the playground but with bigger people." You still have people jockeying for position in the workplace the same as they did on the playground and, later, in high school.

Take a look around. Do you notice any cliques in the office? Do you recognize certain personality types like the jock - Klaus said Wall Street traders have the same characteristics - the popular girl who's always fussing with her hair and makeup who everyone seems to want to be around? They're probably there whether you've noticed them or not.

Jason Seiden, author of "How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What's Left of Your Career," said that the social standing that was so important in high school doesn't matter so much in the workplace. Whether you're liked by your neighbor in the next cubicle is far less important than doing your job to the best of your ability. Seiden advises counteracting immature behavior with mature responses. Easier said than done, but well worth the effort.

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 5, 2008 at 10:02 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Are you dealing with angry people at work? If yes, how are you managing them?
I was just reading this interesting article on Seth Godin's blog, titled: Angry people are different. He has two good and well known tips here - avoid them or acknowledge their anger. It's also how you answer to their angry queries and retorts.
Giving back positively and getting back with empathy are two ways to foster better relationships at work.

So if you are dealing with angry people at work, how are you managing them?

Article by Shweta L. Khare, founder and president of Careerbright and Speakbright and courtesy of Careerbright blogspot

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 2, 2008 at 12:03 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

This is a guest post by Lauren Kleinman.

At one time or another, we've all had a coworker that got underneath our skin. OK, if I'm being honest, I've had colleagues I wanted to call a hit on just so I wouldn't have to hear their whiny voices anymore. The unfortunate part about these situations is that it always affects your work- whether you are working on a project with the offender - or if they're just an interruption during your day.

In some instances, there is potential for resolution. However, you may come across people in the workplace that you just plain can't stand. There is no straightforward answer on how to deal with a coworker that you despise. I deal with them by using what I call the 3 P's.

*Patience: I know, patience is a virtue. Think of them as a small child; they don't know any better, so be patient with them.

*Professionalism: Remember, you are in a professional work environment. This isn't Melrose Place, so save the tantrums for your post-work life.

*Prevention: In some situations, you must see them on a regular basis (i.e. working with them on a project or presentation). However, you still have some control on how much interaction you have with this person. By suggesting phone conferences instead of in person meetings, you can cut down on potential confrontations.

Like I said, there is no right or wrong answer to this dilemma.

Article by Andrew G.R. and courtesy of jobacle.com - your cure for carbon copy career advice!

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 2, 2008 at 11:47 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Improperly conducted background checks can cause as many problems as negligent hiring suits, as a Newport News call center recently found out. The company used LexisNexis Risk Management Inc., which has been accused of failing to let employees know of problems found in investigations and of creating too many issues for those who requested reviews. LexisNexis has agreed to pay a settlement that exceeds $20 million.

Christopher Colt North was the attorney representing the plaintiffs. On behalf of his clients he accused the company that the conducted the background checks of violating the Fair Credit Reporting Act. North said that he believes that this is the largest settlement for a case involving the 37-year-old piece of legislation.

Continue reading "Background Check Violations" »

Posted by Joel Cheesman on April 29, 2008 at 9:12 PM

Workplace and violence are two words that until recently were never associated with one another. Yet when these words come together they strike terror in the lives of the people that are affected by them. Workplace, when we think of this word we think of a safe environment where we go to make to our lives better, a place to make careers for ourselves. The workplace is supposed to provide security for our families and to help to one day achieve the goal of financial freedom. Violence, when we hear this word images pop up in our head like the Jerry Springer Show, the Oklahoma City Bombing, or the latest act of violence to shock our nation the massacre of the high school in Colorado. These images are stuck in our minds forever; the shear horror of these acts puts us back into perspective of reality. Violence is a very real almost unpredictable event that can strike anywhere at anytime. It is the driving force that plagues our workplace as we speak.

Oct. 15 KIMBERLY, Wis. In November 1992, Thomas Monfils was killed by several co-workers and his mutilated body was found in a pulp vat with a 40-pound weight tied to his neck at the James River Corp. mill in Green Bay Mulholland .Workplace violence is turning into a number one priority for today's businesses.On an average working day, three people will be murdered on the job in the U.S. One million workers are assaulted and more than 1,000 are murdered every year, according to the U.S. National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. Homicide is the second highest cause of death on the job, after motor vehicle accidents. That translates into three cases for every 10,000 workers, confirms the U.S. Department of Labor. In 1992, 111,000 incidents of work-place violence cost employers and others an estimated 6.2 million. The statistics are shocking for the amount of workplace violence that is out there everyday in our workforce. Even more shocking then these statistics is the fact that more than half of these cases go unreported. That means an estimated two million workers are assaulted every year and more than 2,000 people are murdered.Workplace Violence Behavior and Characteristics

Continue reading "Workplace Violence Statistics" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on April 21, 2008 at 3:33 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

One blog I do enjoy is Fortify your Oasis, partly because it is so well written by Ronan and it has an excellent mix of posts. What caught my eye in particular was a recent post on "Work Life Balance". It made a good read and certainly questioned my own work life balance.

As someone who works from home and in one of the best cities in Europe (Granada Spain), I should have best work life balance of any recruiter. Although on greater reflection working from home does have its drawbacks, you are never away from the office and when I am, the phone redirects so there is no escape!

Continue reading "Work Life Balance" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on April 21, 2008 at 11:56 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Handling disputes with coworkers is difficult enough. What do you do if it's your boss who's getting under your skin?

The second edition of Backpack to Briefcase, published by A Life After Graduation, LLC, has the answer in chapter 9.

First, you're warned that conflicts in the workplace are unavoidable. The advice for handling disagreements isn't so different from the standard advice you would receive for handling disagreements with coworkers. Here's what they have to say:

1. Choose your battles: This is good advice in any conflict situation, but it's especially important with your boss. Oversights like forgetting your birthday don't rank up there with your boss taking credit for your hard work.

2. Speak up immediately: Don't sit on a grievance for days or weeks. The moment something happens that bothers you, say so. But be careful. Don't confront your boss in front of everyone else. Pull her aside and quietly and respectfully voice your concerns. The same rule applies if you suspect something might be troubling your boss.

3. Open up: Schedule a time to sit down and talk with your boss. Get a clear picture of "what's expected of you and how you can meet those expectations."

4. Document everything: The book suggests keeping track of all your work, including emails, phone calls, and client interactions so you have proof should your boss falsely accuse you of doing or saying something wrong or inappropriate.

5. Maintain self-control: Emotional outbursts are unprofessional and serve only to make you look bad. They can also hurt your credibility should you have to go over your boss' head for resolution.

6. Get an objective opinion: The book advises seeking support from a coworker or mentor in regards to your conflict with the boss. Sometimes a disinterested third party can see the big picture that you and the boss are missing. Professionalism is again stressed. When seeking support, don't reduce yourself to gossiping or criticizing because it could get back to the boss, or worse, the boss' boss, and that could really bode ill for you in the future.

7. You have rights, too: Become familiar with your employee handbook so you can quickly identify if and when your rights have been violated. But don't be overly sensitive. A simple off-color remark should be handled using guideline #2. If such behavior continues, then you may have grounds for a formal complaint.

8. Make a formal complaint: When the dispute between you and your boss is beyond guidelines 1-7, then it may be necessary to go to your boss' superior or to an HR representative. But this course of action should be used only after other more reasonable methods have been exhausted.

The book goes on to outline what you can do if the situation with your boss is uncontrollable:

• Find things about your job that you really like, things that motivate and excite you. This can even include your interactions with coworkers. You and your boss aren't in a vacuum.
• Don't give your boss any excuse to single you out. Be a straight arrow, following all the rules for punctuality, conduct, and project completion.
• Expand your horizons beyond the job. Don't let your job define who you are. Get a hobby, take a class, join a book club, etc.
• If all else fails, accept that it may be time to move on. Having to look for another job is lousy when you've found something that you really like. Unfortunately, some conflicts just can't be resolved any other way.

On a personal note, I think it helps if you don't carry your work problems home with you. It took me many years to learn how to do this, but once I did, I quickly realized what a difference it makes. When I go home at the end of the day, the job ceases to exist for me. If I catch myself dwelling on something negative that happened during the day, I start thinking about something else, like a new movie that I want to see or an outfit that I want to buy. It works!

Unless what you're dealing with at work is really serious, don't let what happens from 9 to 5 (or whatever hours you work) ruin your whole day. It's just not worth it. Your family and friends will appreciate it.

Posted by Candice Arnold on April 21, 2008 at 11:35 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

I like to advise people on the topic of coping with difficult people at work because we've all been there and inevitably will be there again. In most cases, I recommend that you confront the problem head on and talk about it with the person who is giving you agida. In the event that you are experiencing true abuse, though, it might make sense to tell someone in a position of authority. You shouldn't do this lightly - for it could cause you more harm than good politically. But if you believe this to be the right course of action, employment researchers at Arizona State University suggest tactics for reporting office bullying, which is defined as exclusion and isolation, nitpicking, criticism, humiliation and even hitting. They include:

1) Be rational: Tell your story in a linear fashion and explain why you think the events occurred as they did.

2) Express emotions appropriately: Use similes and metaphors to describe how the bullying made you feel (e.g. I felt like I had a Kick Me sign on my forehead) while speaking in a calm and reasonable tone.

3) Provide consistent details: The more specifics you offer, the more credible you'll be. And be careful not to exaggerate or change your story over time.

4) Offer a plausible story: Reference or provide published literature about workplace bullying, and focus on the aspects of your experience that will be most believable to the listener.

5) Be relevant: From a legal viewpoint, the only thing the listener cares about is the bully's bad behavior and, to a lesser extent, your behavior. The fact that you feel an injustice has been committed is less relevant.

6) Emphasize your own competence: Doing so helps establish the fact that the bullying is not a result of poor performance on the job and reinforces that you are not a "problem employee."

7) Show consideration for other perspectives: Show that you've tried to understand where the bully is coming from, and that you're not looking to be perceived as a whiner by the listener or others.

This is merely a snapshot of the great tips available in the Arizona white paper. Check it out when you have a chance. It's the kind of thing that can't hurt to have in your back pocket.

Article by Alexandra Levit and courtesy of Water Cooler Wisdom blog.

Posted by Candice Arnold on March 19, 2008 at 9:32 PM | Leave a Comment (1)

In this special guest post, Cynthia Shapiro, career expert and best selling author, says that, contrary to conventional wisdom, you CAN have an office romance without hurting your career if you know (and heed) a few "insider secrets."

He's got those electric blue eyes and that winning smile. You find yourself drawn to him, which is becoming a problem because you can't think straight when he's around. You've caught him looking at you too, and you are beginning to wonder, thinking "Should I go for it?"

This question can be exciting and scary even under ideal conditions, but what if this man or woman of your dreams is your boss? Or your subordinate? What do you do then?

Many career experts and companies would tell you to simply avoid love in the workplace at all costs.

But is that realistic? We spend more time at work than almost anywhere else, so how could we possibly avoid falling in love with someone we work with? According to a study from Vault.com, 58% of people have admitted to falling in love and dating someone at work.

But with all the talk about non-fraternization policies, CEO dating scandals, and sexual harassment fears, workplace dating has widely become known as a career killer.

I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be as scary as you've been led to believe. Contrary to what many career advisors and employers have told us: you CAN have an office romance without hurting your career. In fact, without dating in the workplace, Bill Gates would still be a lonely bachelor.

It doesn't have to be a dangerous proposition if you know these insider secrets:

1. It's not sexual harassment to ask out a co-worker. Contrary to what paranoid employees may believe, or employers may have told you, it is not illegal to ask out the person in the next cubicle.

Here's how it's done: create a work relationship with this individual first. Find out what this person is like: do they have a tendency toward gossip and telling everyone about their personal life, are they related to the boss, are they already dating someone?

It's also best to research and know your company and industry policies on dating before you jump in, so you understand what may be at stake here (this can easily be accomplished by reading through your employee manual). Some industries have stronger issues with dating, and it's important to know what you'll be up against so you can craft a plan for success ahead of time.

Then ask this individual out for a work lunch to find out how they behave away from the workplace. Once you've created a solid work relationship, you can ask them out on a date.

But in the workplace, "no" really means no. If the person says no, you don't ask again. You can't continue to ask someone out over and over again. If they say "no," it's done. If they say "yes," you are happily ready for the next step.

2. Casual dating is a no-no. It's important to be aware of any potential consequences to your career before moving into a relationship with this person. The harsh truth is that love affairs do end, and a candid conversation about what might happen to your careers if things go south is more than a good idea.

It's also key to create a plan for what will now be a dual relationship, meaning you are considering entering into a joint personal and business relationship with its own inherent challenges. This type of dual relationship can create tremendous strain on a couple, and when pay and promotions are on the line, can even become explosive. It's best to have a plan of action before these potential scenarios arise. Consider and discuss each of these aspects carefully before things get started. Afterwards it's too late.

3. No Flirting. Dating a fellow employee is your private business and should not be obvious. Please resist the temptation to send ooglie, smoochy emails (most companies monitor emails, so they will see), and try to give each other some space so you're not tempted to dive into the supply closet together.

The Vault.com survey mentioned above showed that 28% of employees admitted to having a "tryst" in the workplace. That behavior is very dangerous to both your careers, and can even get you fired.

Keep it under wraps, keep it professional at work, and keep it private at all times.

4. Keep it private, NOT secret. There is one very important exception to the rule of privacy: if the person you're dating is above or below you on the ladder. For example, if you're a manager dating a member of your team, or vice versa. In this case, the relationship must be disclosed -- always.

Your direct boss and/or HR are the only ones you tell. Ensure the boss that things will be professionally maintained at all times, and that you will both follow the company policies and guidelines.

Disclosure is key for several reasons: it helps the company remove any potential conflicts of interest, and it removes the ability of one or both of you to come back with a sexual harassment claim that could endanger the company (there have been many cases of mutual relationships that ended in a scorned party claiming sexual harassment after the fact, so this is a real concern).

5. Make the necessary adjustments. If one of you has a direct reporting responsibility to the other, then responsibility for pay increases, reviews, and even work assignments will need to be transferred to another member of management.

Understand that one of you may need to be transferred to another department due to company policy or industry comfort levels. In some cases, the HR department will need to do a formal review to determine if there are any conflicts of interest.

This is a necessary step, you should defer to the company in this instance, and the company recommendations must be followed no matter what. You don't want your sweetheart to get the promotion of his dreams just to face accusations that he slept his way to the top. And you don't want to find love at the expense of your hard-earned career.

Can workplace dating really have a happy ending? Absolutely.

A SHRM study recently showed that when workplace dating is approached the right way, 44% of HR professionals have seen those relationships end in marriage and have even seen productivity increase.

I recently worked with a couple who wanted to date and both stay in their high-powered careers in the same department of their Fortune 500 company.

They disclosed their relationship properly, went through a review with HR to determine if there were any potential conflicts of interest, and today they are happily married and still working together successfully in their same positions.

So, don't be afraid of asking out that talented and charismatic "dream boat" in the next cubicle. With a few insider secrets you can date with dreamy delight - not danger.

Article by George Lenard, the originator of George's Employment Blawg, has over twenty years of experience in all aspects of labor and employment law, including preventive law as well as litigation. His special interests include employment discrimination, sexual harassment, and noncompetition agreements. He is currently a managing partner with Harris, Dowell, Fisher & Harris, L.C., in St. Louis, Missouri, and lives in the suburb of University City with his wife and family.

Posted by Candice Arnold on February 19, 2008 at 7:11 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Every now and again we hear about happy couples that met at work. What we rarely hear about are those couples whose careers got sidelined because they made one or two wrong plays at the office.

If you are single, you know Valentines Day comes around faster than the Christmas holidays. Sometimes you get lucky and the holiday falls on the weekend. But most times you have to endure a sea of red roses floating on top of the cubicles in the office. It seems like love is in bloom for everyone except you.

Temptation all around

If you work in an office filled with other young people than you know how tempting it can be to hook up with a co-worker. Hey, they're right there and you already have tons to talk about. What could possibly go wrong? Lots.

In an ideal world you'll work side-by-side on interesting projects. You'll spend every waking hour helping one other get ahead. Love is in the air and the sweet smell of success is all around. That is until one of you gets promoted and manages the other. Or one of you decides to call it quits before the other is ready.

It's rare that we enter relationships with the idea that things will not work out. But in the case of office romance, it's best to look at all possibilities before fully engaging in a relationship with a co-worker.

Know your company's policy on office dating

Many companies have formal or informal policies on office dating. If you'd like to keep your job, it's best to familiarize yourself with these policies before entering into an office romance. For example, your company policy may state that employees who are either involved or married to one another cannot work in the same department or supervise each other. Would you be willing to give up your job or leave your company in the name of love? For some, it may be a no brainer. However, if you work in a small town where employment options are limited, you might want to think this through before proceeding.

Gossip

If you are going to date in the office then be prepared for this to become a family affair. Others will be commenting about your relationship and may even offer unsolicited advice. If you think you are keeping the relationship under wraps, think again. Chances are you and your officemate's secret is widely known throughout the organization.

Judgment day

Consciously or subconsciously, your relationship could influence decisions that may impact your career. Your romance may color everyone's judgment with regard to promotions, projects, team building and responsibilities. If you want to be judged on your own merits, then look for romance elsewhere.

As we go through another Valentine's season we will surely read more stories about couples that met at work. After all, who doesn't love happy endings? But even perfect roses have prickly thorns. Before you accept a rose from a co-worker, know what you are getting into.

© 2008 Human Resource Solutions. All rights reserved.

Article courtesy of the Recruiting Blogswap, a content exchange service sponsored by CollegeRecruiter.com, a leading site for college students looking for internships and recent graduates searching entry-level jobs and other career opportunities.

Posted by Lisa Colbert, CollegeRecruiter.com on February 18, 2008 at 7:33 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Searching for online jobs can seem almost too simple. Post a resume on a job site or send it our for specific positions, either way employers are likely to see it if it fits what they're looking for. Still, there are things that can go wrong with what may look like such an easy process at first glance.

One of the worst things a job seeker can do when looking for new employment online is being to free with their personal information. With identity theft on the rise, resumes with full contact information listed can make a crook's job all too easy. Instead of including one's full name, address, phone number, business and personal e-mail address it is best to stick to a name and a generic e-mail address through a popular site such as gmail or hotmail. Although some recruiters are annoyed by this lack of personal information, other's view it as a sign of being web savvy.

Continue reading "Fired for Checking Jobs Online At Work" »

Posted by Joel Cheesman on February 13, 2008 at 2:08 PM

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

When looking for a new job, it pays to beware of employers who seem too good to be true. There are multitudes of good, upstanding and decent businesses in the world but the few bad guys out there cause us to be on our guards at all times when analyzing a prospective position.

Continue reading "Recognizing Abusive Employers and Their Unethical Tactics" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on February 7, 2008 at 5:14 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

The Experience of Unreturned Phone Calls and Unresponsive Vendors and Colleagues has Become Endemic in our Society.

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

I'm sure all of you have experienced it. You are at work and have placed a call to another department requesting important information for a report that's due tomorrow. You leave a voice mail message with a department employee and tell him or her the urgency of the needed information.

Continue reading "What's Happened to Our Work Ethic?" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on February 4, 2008 at 6:10 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

I did not read The Devil Wears Prada, nor did I see the movie. Why would I bother when, based on the hype and reviews, I had already worked for someone extremely similar? It was, therefore, the title of Manda Spring’s article How to Deal with the Behavior of Horrible Co-workers that got my attention.

I like to consider myself a “people person”, and my successes in my mostly-customer-service employment history lend themselves to that judgment.

Continue reading "If You Have a Horrible Co-Worker" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on February 4, 2008 at 6:07 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Good news if you've got a good sense of humor. You're better able to cope with on-the-job stress and you like your job more than some of your co-workers.

That's the conclusion of recent research by three professors at West Virginia University.

Continue reading "Use Humor to Cope with Stress on the Job" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on February 1, 2008 at 12:50 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

People spend a significant and meaningful amount of their time working. Working can provide your life with structure, purpose, satisfaction, self-esteem, and spending power. However, working can also be a setting of stress and worry.

Continue reading "How to Handle Workplace Pressure?" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on January 30, 2008 at 5:26 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Reprinted courtesy of TheCareerNews.com

MILWAUKEE, WI -- You just heard the news, and I don't mean from The Donald. This time it's personal and it's you who's been downsized. What's next? Here are just a few useful tips you may want to consider.

Continue reading "Have you just been downsized?" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on January 3, 2008 at 4:49 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

If this seems like a miserable job, you may just be right. Apparently, there are quite a few folks who seem to be unhappy in their jobs. In fact, a recent Gallup poll reported that 77 percent of workers hate their jobs!

Continue reading "Miserable-Job Assessment: Look for the Three Signs" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on December 10, 2007 at 10:02 AM | Leave a Comment (1)

Reprinted courtesy of TheCareerNews.com

CHESTERBROOK, PA -- We have all had jerk bosses who caused us to swear that it was high time to quit our jobs. Changes are always difficult and fundamentally we are creatures of habit. There's a comfort in the status quo even if we despise it. However, there are times when packing up and leaving is the best decision.

This is not something to be taken lightly. It cannot be stressed enough that it is always best to get another job before leaving. A replacement job is important not only for maintaining the vital finances and standard of living that you're accustomed to, but it's also a fact that to your next employer you're significantly more valuable if you're currently employed.

It stands to reason for employers that if you are currently employed, you must be a productive useful employee with skills and attributes. A good find that should be snapped up promptly without delay. Thus a higher offer with better benefits must be paid to steal you away from your current employer.

Article by Shaun Stevens, Ace-Training.net, and reprinted from TheCareerNews.com. Get the latest breaking News, Tips and Tools for your job search, Free!

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on December 7, 2007 at 12:47 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

QUESTION FROM A SUBSCRIBER:
There is an employee where I work who whines when she 2 things going on simultaneously. Although her hours are 8:30 -5:00, she shows up anywhere from 9:30 to nearly 2:00, and spends hours on personal phone calls and playing around. Meanwhile, I consistently come in to work at 8:00 and don't leave until 5:00 or even later, often eating lunch at my desk to get even more work done. But somehow she ended up getting a bonus this year when I did not. I don't get it!

- J. S.

Continue reading " Achieving Recognition at Work" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on December 7, 2007 at 12:11 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Cathy was a typical victim of domestic violence. She'd left her abuser several times, then returned to him. Having three small children to care for and few marketable skills kept her financially dependent.

Continue reading "When Domestic Violence Comes to Work" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on December 5, 2007 at 5:35 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

You are a minority and have been working at the company for some time. Recently your boss was promoted and replaced thereby bringing in fresh blood. After six months of working under this boss you find that you can't do anything right and have now been offered a chance to voluntary leave the company in lieu of being terminated.

Continue reading "How Do You Know You Are Being Discriminated Against?" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on November 19, 2007 at 2:46 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

A Neverending Story?

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Americans read more online every day and in print about job-hopping, job hunting, job shopping, and job rage. How to deal with the boss, how to get around the boss, how to get beyond the boss, and how to get rid of your boss.

Continue reading "Why Americans Are Frustrated About Work" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on November 19, 2007 at 11:56 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Dice.com, a New York-based online career site for technology professionals, recently released a study that showed some surprising news for the bosses of IT workers: IT companies are shooting themselves in the foot.

How?

Continue reading "IT Workers' Support - Not Getting It On-The-Job? You're Not Alone" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on November 16, 2007 at 1:27 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Why You Should Quit Your Job Today

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

"Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight. Instead failure is a few errors in judgment- repeated every day." This is a quote from the prominent businessman/writer named Jim Rohn.

Continue reading "Do You Have a Job that You Just Despise Coming to on Mondays? Here Are 8 Critical Reasons " »

Posted by CandiceArnold on November 8, 2007 at 1:34 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

We all have to work for a living. It is one of those mundane and boring tasks that we all have before us as we get up at the crack of dawn, get cleaned up and dressed and head for the office of wherever it is that we work each day.

Continue reading "Knowing When to Walk Away - Sure Signs that Your Employer May Have it Out for You" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on November 5, 2007 at 11:42 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Often times in the workplace, we encounter a variety of situations that make us uncomfortable. These situations allow for our productivity levels to lower and ultimately affect our overall mood. Learning to deal with these situations could potentially increase our value to our company and those around us.

Continue reading "Maintaining a Healthy Workplace Through Preventative Training" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on October 25, 2007 at 11:25 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

No matter where you work, there will be at least one unpleasant or otherwise annoying person you have to deal with. In most cases, you have no choice but to tolerate these people and their minor annoyances.

Continue reading "The Do's and Dont's of Beating the Workplace Bully" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on October 19, 2007 at 3:03 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

Profiling the Lethal Employee: Case Studies of Violence in the Workplace

Michael D. Kelleher, executive deputy director of the Marin County Housing Authority (San Rafael, California), has held executive management positions in both the private and the public sectors for 25 years.

Continue reading "Workplace Violence: In-Depth Analysis and Employer Prevention" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on October 17, 2007 at 1:21 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Don't Be Taken Advantage of in the Workplace

Provided By: Associated Content, Inc.

This has a little bit to do with why I hated group projects in high school. There would be four or five of us assigned to a particular topic, and since I was inevitably the only one who actually cared about our grade, I would end up doing all of the work: the research, the writing, the oral presentation, and the visuals.

Continue reading "Handling the Lazy Co-Worker" »

Posted by CandiceArnold on October 17, 2007 at 11:27 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Americans spend an average of 25 minutes commuting to work, according to an NPR tidbit this morning. And a USA Today article examining commuting trends predicted even longer rides in future.

Maybe, like some, you cherish that alone time in your car in the morning and a "decompression chamber" at the end of the day. But if the commute simply adds stress and cost, not to mention environmental impact, there are other options!

Continue reading "Commute Driving You Crazy?" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on October 15, 2007 at 6:57 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Q:

I am an administrative associate/office manager and find my current manager to be very lax in his duties. He doesn't know much about running the office and doesn't care to.

We merged with another department and have a new director whom my manager reports to. The problem is that the director wants to be involved in every aspect of the merged departments.

I have been in my current department for 20 years and am very capable of handling my duties from A to Z. At one point he took authority away from my current manager and insisted on signing every piece of paper. I explained to him that this was causing a problem with processing for our account and he finally agreed to give us back the signing authority.

The director will ask me to do something and within a few hours he will call to find out the status. He will ask me to check out a problem, but asks for the vendor numbers so he can contact them directly. We will be moving to a new building in the near future and he plans on making all of the decisions about space and furniture, without asking for our input.

Another department approached me and they want me to work for them. I even considered applying for the position, but it is a lateral move with no increase in salary, although there may be growth potential in the future. What do you think about this situation?

- Jeanne

Q:

I have been doing volunteer work with a prominent organization in my town. The woman who helped to end my marriage last year insists upon joining this organization. I believe she is doing this to intimidate me.

I am not sure how to gracefully continue my work with this organization. I enjoy my work and do not feel it would be appropriate for me to leave before my term on this committee expires.

I do not want to do anything that would embarrass the organization or myself. Should I leave or should I finish my term? I need tactful suggestions on how to grin and bear it with her around. Please note that I try to have as little contact with her as possible and have no contact at all with my ex-husband.

- Terri

Continue reading "Difficult Bosses and Coworkers" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 12, 2007 at 5:21 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Q:

I have a supervisor who is a very unhappy person. She is angry almost all the time and takes her unhappiness out on everyone. Everyone is afraid of her and tries to avoid her. Unfortunately for me, there is no way I can avoid her because I sit right in front of her. It is getting so bad for me that I am beginning to hate my job. Just seeing her come in makes me upset. She always finds something wrong and never gives a pat on back for anything.

I went over her head and talked to her boss, but he just encouraged me to accept her the way she is. Even though she treats everyone the same way, I take it to the heart. I tried to get transferred but didn't succeed. I also tried looking for another job, but so far haven't had any luck. Have you ever heard of this type of problem?

- Looking for a way out

Continue reading "Dealing With an Angry Supervisor" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 11, 2007 at 5:14 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work with a team of six people. Several months ago we hired a coworker to fill a much-needed position. Management decided that all of the sales commissions from our team would go to this team member. In the past, commissions were split between all of us.

When management made this decision I told them that I thought this was unfair. They told me they would look into additional compensation, but so far, I haven't received anything.

To make things even more stressful, the employee we hired has missed over two months worth of work in the short time she has been with us. Every week she has something that interferes with her work. She's had family emergencies, friends flying into town, dental emergencies, medical appointments, etc.

The rest of us are very frustrated and although we don't want to appear negative to management, our resentment is building. I do not feel that she is a team player or that she cares about her work. The rest of us have been putting in extra hours to get the work done (we are salaried) while she works much less.

She just announced that she'll be taking some time off for some surgery. Initially she told us that the timing of her surgery was flexible, yet she has scheduled it to take place now. Her timing couldn't be worse because an account manager just quit and we have two people on vacation. This will leave a skeleton crew, but she doesn't seem concerned.

Our entire team has been torn apart. Everyone else chooses to talk behind her back, but I would like to confront her and tell her how I feel.

- Upset

Continue reading "Inconsiderate Coworkers" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 10, 2007 at 5:06 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a small office -- it's just the owner and myself. We've worked together for ten years. Lately I feel as though he is taking advantage of me. He has been giving me more work to do, but has not offered any additional pay. With only the two of us in the office, I feel a formal request is out of line. How do I approach this subject?

- Taken advantage of

Continue reading "A New You" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on September 4, 2007 at 4:33 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Q. I joined my current company (Pre-IPO) right out of school as a junior QA engineer testing our product. Over the last three years, I have moved from that position to one with key responsibilities while the company has gone from 30 people to 50. Although I have been given the responsibilities of a software project lead reporting to the CTO and supervising the work of the others, there has been no official change in my title. I have been given raises quite frequently, but am still getting paid less than those I supervise. This is mainly due to my low starting salary as I have been given approximately 15 percent raises every 9 months on average. Since it is a small setup, it does not seem appropriate to ask for more as others have not got any for the last 18 months. Except for the salary and title, my job is very satisfying. Should I just look elsewhere to get a more appropriate title and salary?

Continue reading "Salary Talk: Should I leave my startup to seek a better salary and title?" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on August 23, 2007 at 7:56 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Readers:

You may recall the letter from "Helpless and Overwhelmed," who was working overtime, dealing with financial problems, in an unstable marriage and feeling out of control at work and at home.

Continue reading "Helpless & Overwhelmed 2" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 22, 2007 at 10:57 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am going through a major crisis at home and work. I've been at my current job for 13 years and I have great company benefits, a retirement fund and an okay salary. I have two adolescent kids, am in a very unstable marriage with little support from my husband and have financial problems.
I am working so many hours overtime that I am miserable. Even though I work for a good organization and know that in the long run the projects I am working on will mean something, right now they don't mean anything to me. In addition, I feel like I'm a mom for 60 employees at work too, even though I'm the youngest one there, because everyone comes to me when they need something done.

What bothers me the most is that I haven't been able to finish school because I'm struggling to handle my workload and the responsibilities of being a good mom.

I called in sick today because I didn't want to hear all of the wining of my coworkers. And lately, all I can think about is filing for bankruptcy, buying a recreational vehicle and taking off with the kids so that we can start some kind of adventure. Of course, that lasts about 15 minutes until I come back to reality. I really hate to be at work and hate being away from my kids so much just to fulfill my responsibilities of a good worker.

Should I leave my job? Should I start a business at home? Should I go back to school? What can I do?

- Helpless and overwhelmed

Continue reading "Helpless and Overwhelmed 1" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 21, 2007 at 10:55 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Kelly Clarkson is without a doubt the most successful pop star of the last few years. She's sold over 15 million albums worldwide and won a slew of awards including several Grammys.

Her success to date has been a fairy story, but recently things have been going wrong for Kelly. A highly publicized fight with her record label and tepid reviews for her soon-to-be-released album were the start. More recently she fired her manager and canceled all of her summer tour dates due to poor ticket sales.

The story of how Kelly got from there to here is a manual of career 'dont's.'

Continue reading "Lessons from Kelly Clarkson" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 20, 2007 at 12:54 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a small office. I am female and most of the women I work with are older than I am. In the five years I've worked here I've moved up within the company rather quickly. Although the promotions have been good for my career, it has created problems with my coworkers.

A number of women have created and spread rumors about me. They think that I've slept my way up the ladder of success.

When I was their customer service supervisor, they went to my boss to complain about me. None of their complaints were anything about me professionally, just personally.

Fortunately I am out of that position, but the gossip still continues. I don't know how to change their opinion of me. What do you suggest?

- Hurt

Continue reading "Jealous Coworker" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 20, 2007 at 10:41 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a small office, and the owner is the one and only male in the company. He avoids getting involved in most of the problems among his employees and is especially bothered by petty differences and disagreements.

I have encountered a problem with one of the women I work with. She does whatever she wants, is rude, hurtful and creates many problems because she knows that no one will tell the boss and that there will be no consequences. I am uncomfortable with the way she tries to bolster her own self worth to the business at the expense of her peers. This is a small business, which makes it difficult to avoid her and the damage she is doing, but I am having trouble dealing with her because I know what she is up to. I try to keep my distance from her to let her know how I feel about the mean spirited way in which she handles herself with coworkers, but it doesn't change the way she is.

The situation is really bothering me. I hate to see the others suffer as a result of her gossip, disgruntled behavior and the rumors she spreads. You see the "boss" is my brother, and I work directly for him. Knowing how he is, I feel certain that unless he makes the "move" to correct the problem; there will be no end to it. What should I do?

- Sister

Continue reading "Family Business" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 15, 2007 at 7:46 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I worked in the credit department of my company setting up new accounts until I was moved into another department. Once I settled into the new job, I was asked to train someone to be my backup for the times I would be gone. Everything was fine until I was told that I was being moved once again.

Now I feel betrayed, and I am no longer happy with this company. I talked to my supervisor and her supervisor about this, but they both told me that I should forget about my previous position and be happy where I am. But I can't do that and I am not happy. What am I to do?

- Unhappy

Continue reading "Betrayed" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on August 10, 2007 at 4:26 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

It seems as though most of the questions you receive are written from frustrated employees who work for difficult bosses. My question is a bit different. I am the boss, and am struggling with difficult employees. I am young, so I am not sure if this is about me or not.

Whenever I request something to be done, rather than take ownership, everyone seems to take his or her time completing the task. Sometimes I have to follow up several times before anything ever gets done.

I am trying to establish good working relationship with these people, but the way they are acting is getting in the way. I am not sure how to handle these people or this situation.

- Young boss

Continue reading "Difficult Employees" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 31, 2007 at 7:01 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work for someone who is impossible to please. She blows up easily, and is a control freak. Her demands are relentless and unrealistic. She expects miracles, and stresses out everyone around her. Because she is so intense, it is impossible to approach her, and we end up suffering as a result. What are our options?

- Suffering

Continue reading "Working for a Control Freak" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 30, 2007 at 8:48 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work for a company that believes that keeping a person under stress will make him work harder. People come and go with that company weekly. I have been employed there for five years and I can tell I've turned into a colder, tougher person. I follow all the rules, never miss work, and I have a top quality work performance, with one exception -- I forgot to initial some paperwork I completed, and was severely reprimanded. Considering my track record, I don't think I deserved the harsh criticism. My supervisor said that they are cracking down on people and going to be even stricter in their policies.

My doctor told me at my last appointment that I should change my lifestyle and my job. I think it would be just as stressful to start over in a job, and I don't want to lose my benefits. What do you suggest I do?

- Stressed

Continue reading "Stressful Work Environments" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 25, 2007 at 8:15 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work with a clique of catty people. In the four years I’ve been with this small company, I have seen the entire department turn over several times - with the exception of the boss and her little clique. They celebrate each other's birthdays, go on outings after work and have pool parties at the bosses’ house. They stand around and chat a good part of the day and get their kids hired into the company. When someone's birthday comes around, they decorate and go all out. If you aren't a part of that group, you aren't invited to the parties and you do the majority of the work while someone else takes credit for it. You receive no training, no encouragement, and rarely receive a response to your “Good Morning”.

I have gone to Human Resources Department with the problem, but have heard nothing. As a result, I have no trust for these people, and every day I wonder if I will still have the job this afternoon. This has been going on so long that I know there is no changing it and in this economy, I can't afford to leave, although it is making me sick. How do I work around this?

– Miserable

Continue reading "Workplace Cliques" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 16, 2007 at 11:30 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I have recently moved into a new position. I have a good attitude and great customer service skills. I strive to treat everyone with respect, but it seems to be looked at as a weakness. I work with a bunch of people who are not into teamwork and not into respecting others. In fact, they put their energy into preying on people like me. I’ve been called “Polly Anna” because I try to be upbeat and positive. What do I need to do to get more respect?

- Polly Anna

Continue reading "Misery Loves Company" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 16, 2007 at 11:03 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am a receptionist at a front desk in a very upscale corporate office. My work area is large enough that no one needs to invade the area in order to facilitate anything, but I constantly have people at my desk. Coworkers will pick up paper work from my desk and read it, and I have caught people reading the screen of my computer. When people help themselves to things by going through my drawers, I am exposed to ‘morning mouth’, after-lunch garlic breath and late afternoon coffee fumes. It is disgusting. I need to know what kind of personal space I am entitled to so that I can erect a sign that states, ‘no admittance beyond this point.’

– Invaded

Continue reading "Personal Space" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 12, 2007 at 7:57 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I have a dilemma and need your help. I supervise the son of my boss. He is nearly 30 years old and dresses inappropriately for his job. He looks sloppy, is not always shaven and sometimes goes without socks, although he brings them in his pocket. We work in a professional atmosphere and he has management responsibilities and is in view of the public. I have given him warning after warning, yet he continues to do his own thing.

How far should I go with this? My boss has told me to give him a warning, and if necessary, let him go. He has already been fired twice from this company. I feel very uncomfortable with the position I am in, so I continue to try to bring his son around. Last week I told him if he didn't get a haircut (he was wearing his hair in a small ponytail) that he could no longer work here. He did get it cut, but had highlights put in his hair, which doesn’t look much better. I feel I am in a constant battle with him and do not understand why he continues to challenge me. How do I handle this delicate situation?

– Managing the bosses son

Continue reading "Working in a Family-Run Business" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 12, 2007 at 4:34 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am a legal assistant with over 20 years experience. I met the lawyer I am working for shortly after he started his own solo practice, and I was happy to take on the challenge of helping him build it.

His mother died just one week after I started working for him, and he had to leave the office for two weeks. While he was gone I did everything I could to get him settled. I set up the computers and a filing system, implemented a billing system, bought office supplies, put together bookcases and other pieces of furniture, answered phones, set up appointments and just about anything else I could to keep the practice running. When he came back two weeks later, he was very grateful for all I had done.

We worked well together; he seemed to trust me, gave me bonuses every other month and treated me to lunch frequently because I never took time out to eat. We had a great relationship based on trust and mutual respect until his wife, who also is a lawyer, began interfering by calling him numerous times each day and stopping by unannounced. He became ornery every time he talked with her, and would be in a terrible mood for the rest of the day.

When I went on a vacation last summer, his wife came into the office to help him out. I suspect she became upset after seeing the bookkeeping records of the bonuses and raises he has given me, because when I returned he was a different person. He would be fine when clients were around, but hostile toward me when we were alone. He stopped saying please and thank you, and no longer comments on my performance. He used to compensate me after winning a case, but hasn’t given me a dime since I returned from my vacation. I believe his wife is threatened by me because I have helped her husband win cases.

The times my boss and I planned to come in on the weekend to prepare a case for court or for mediation, he didn’t show, so I stayed there and completed the work without any supervision or help on his part. He would always apologize the following Monday saying that his wife wanted him at home.

After moving into plush new offices, he has informed me that he is cutting my pay in half because he is having financial difficulty, which I find hard to believe. I am sure his wife wants me out, so he is trying to force me to quit. The environment he has created since summer has been awful and I think he is trying to create problems to make me look bad. I know he has been saying derogatory things to the clients because of the way they are treating me now. Any advice you could help me with is appreciated.

– Working for Jekyll and Hyde

Continue reading "Working for Jekyll and Hyde" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 11, 2007 at 4:22 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a small office – it used to be a ranch house and was converted into office space. My office partner and I sit in what used to be the living room. There are no panels or dividers; it is a big open space filled with desks and filing cabinets. Although it is open and spacious, there is no privacy whatsoever and it has presented a few problems.

My office partner is a bit older than I am and I believe may have a slight hearing impairment. If she does, I doubt she is aware of it. She speaks very loudly when she is on the phone, and often ignores comments that are made to her. It is only when we say her name loudly or with force that she will look up. I am the greeter for the phone system and visitors, and her loud talking is disruptive. I often have to stick my finger in my ear just to help hear the party talking to me. I know I need to do something, but I am not sure how to handle this sensitive subject.

The other issue is that I think she listens in on my conversations because she often questions me about details when I get off the phone. This also happens when I am talking with people who come into our office. I have discussed a project I am working on with someone and she inevitably will add her "two cents' worth" whether it is positive or negative comments. Should I address these issues with her or leave it alone? - Patricia

Continue reading "Nosey Office Partner" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 10, 2007 at 3:56 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I have an employee who, for the most part, does a great job. She is responsible and a good employee, however, she over-exaggerates and I've caught her lying several times. When I confront her about the lies, she denies it and either accuses the other employee of lying or blames the incident on a lack of communication. I try to stress the importance telling the truth, even if a mistake has been made, but it hasn’t made a difference. Another fault (or should I say personality/behavior flaw?) is that she'll take credit for other people's work or ideas. For example, she had to fill in a few numbers on a report that was drafted and has been telling everyone how busy she was because she had to develop this report. She even tried to take credit for how good the report was.

I've tried to break her of this habit, but nothing seems to work. I believe part of the problem is that she is insecure and needs a lot of patting on the back, which I try to do. She is also a person who, if she makes mistakes, can't sleep at night. Do you have any suggestions?

– Employer

Continue reading "Dealing With a Dishonest Employee" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 9, 2007 at 3:28 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work with this lady who constantly goes through my desk and the stuff on it. I do not have anything to hide or be ashamed of, but it is very irritating to know that she is so disrespectful of her co-workers. I have seen her go through other people's desk as they have seen her go through mine. She usually does this before people get to work as she gets here about 30-60 minutes before everyone else gets to work or while they are at lunch. Any thoughts on what I should do?

- Invaded

Continue reading "Snooping Coworker" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 5, 2007 at 2:43 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

An employee I work with went to my director and told her I that I said terrible things about her and was looking for a way to get her fired. Shortly after this happened I was demoted. When I learned what had happened, I had a conversation with the director about this alleged statement. I assured her that it was a lie and that I had not said such a thing. I also asked why she was so quick to believe the employee, but she didn’t answer me. I told her there was a witness to what happened, but she never made any effort to talk with that person. I am a good worker and loyal employee, but things have gone from bad to worse at work.

I sense that my director is trying to make things bad for me in the hopes that I will quit. I am not a quitter, and really need the income, but can’t stand the stress of working under these circumstances. What can I do?

– Victim of rumors

Continue reading "Lies and Rumors" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 3, 2007 at 2:35 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am a 50 year old woman, and have worked for a county agency for the past two years. My problem is my boss, who is the same age as me. For some reason, she finds fault with everything I do. My job includes typing highly-technical reports, which can be quite challenging. I work with approximately 10 other women who do the same type of work I do. Every day my boss calls me into her office to criticize some minor mistake I made. She always finds fault with my work and will call my attention to every little typing error she can find. This is hard enough to deal with on a daily basis, but what makes it even more difficult is I am the only employee in my office that is subjected to her daily verbal beatings. In my last yearly review, my boss told me that I was too sensitive and needed to "toughen up."

Recently, after the installation of a new software system in my office, my boss’s supervisor called each employee into his office to see how everyone was adapting to the change. This was a first, and appeared to be an opportune time to discuss the problems I’ve been experiencing with my boss. The supervisor assured me that he was aware of my boss’s shortcomings and that I could anticipate some changes in the office. So far, no changes have occurred, and today I was once again subjected to the daily tongue lashing.

I really don’t know how to handle my boss. I don’t feel it is a good time for me to change jobs with the economy the way it is. Should I be more aggressive with her? If I am too aggressive, I fear I could lose my job. I would greatly appreciate your insight and any suggestions you have on how to handle this situation.

- Stuck

Continue reading "Impossible to Please Boss" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on July 3, 2007 at 2:31 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work for a publishing firm with nothing but miserable, single and pathetic women. I got married last year, and instead of that time being the happiest time of my life, the girls in my area displayed jealous and rude behavior and made me miserable.

Typically when someone in my department gets married or has a baby, we have a shower for the person. When I got married I didn't even get a lousy wedding card. The big boss even felt bad about it and forced these pathetic girls in the department to give me a "late" wedding shower.

These girls always try to compete with me, and I know they hope my marriage will fail. They constantly brag about themselves and look at my big diamond with envious eyes. I really do hate them. It bothers me a lot to think that people on this earth exist like them.

I am pregnant now, and when they find out I'm afraid I'm going to receive the same disgusting unwelcome attitude and treatment from these girls.

How should I act around these girls and how can I avoid them? I am tired of the mental anguish they put me through.

– Pregnant and anxious

Continue reading "Rude and Envious Coworkers" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 27, 2007 at 1:25 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I have an issue with my coworker. We work together, but lately I am doing all the work. He comes and goes as he pleases and neglects his work, but manages to keep his job. He’s up on the latest gossip, and socializes most of the day. He brown-noses with the boss and complains about his workload, which has resulted in extra work for me.

I am busy all day long. I do not need to socialize when I am at work and I’m not interested in the rumor mill. I am more concerned about doing a good job than being well-liked.

My resentment toward my coworker is growing, and I’m afraid I will say something I will regret some day. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with such an irritating coworker?

– Irritated

Continue reading "Hard Work Goes Unnoticed" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 26, 2007 at 1:19 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a Customer Service environment that is very high paced. I encountered a problem recently that caused some chaos with one of my accounts. Although I would take responsibility if I was the cause of the mistake, the problem had nothing to do with me.

My customer sent in some incorrect information. It should have been caught, but wasn’t because the person working with her at the time had not been trained to catch the error. I have a great relationship with this customer, and when I discovered the error I thought I should be forthright by bringing the matter to their attention. I wanted to let them know what happened, and assure them that I would correct the mistake as soon as possible. I sent a copy of my correspondence to the individual who made the errors, and to both of our bosses.

When the individual who made the errors received my e-mail she made a point of thanking me for informing her. Unfortunately, our bosses reacted differently. Neither one appreciated what I had done, nor was I prepared for the confrontation that followed. I was called into a conference room and reprimanded by both her boss and mine. I was told that I should never send an e-mail like the one I sent without seeking management approval first. My loyalty was questioned and I was reprimanded for blaming the company for the mistake and making us all look bad.

I feel was treated unfairly, and scolded for trying to inform my customer and prevent a bigger problem. In an attempt to make some sense out of what happened, I asked several friends who work outside of the company to read the e-mail I sent and give me their honest opinion. Everyone has told me that the e-mail was well-written and that it was clear I brought the errors to everyone’s attention in order to correct the problem. It was the most professional solution and the customer needed to be informed.

I have a review coming up and I want to bring this up for discussion, but don’t want it to turn into another confrontation. How do I bring this up in my review?

– Trying to provide good service

Continue reading "Unfairly Reprimanded" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 25, 2007 at 1:10 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

How do you deal with difficult people at work? I work with someone who always snaps when anyone asks a question or makes a suggestion. This is becoming a huge problem for all of us. I want to help, but what can I do?

- A concerned employee

Continue reading "Dealing With Difficult Coworkers and Bosses" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 22, 2007 at 11:50 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

In case you have not heard of the Brazen Careerist aka Penelope Trunk, hold onto your hat! She was interviewed recently by Guy Kawasaki in his blog posting Ten Questions with Penelope Trunk: Career Guidance for This Century and, as usual, her answers are thought provoking and perhaps even controversial.

Continue reading "Career Success Tips from Penelope Trunk" »

Posted by Sarah Ennenga on June 20, 2007 at 4:48 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in the Human Resource Department of a state agency. We are a small department, all female, and all in our mid forties--including my boss. Today when I came to work after taking a few vacation days, it was obvious someone had been at my desk and gone through my personal belongings.

I am very neat and organized and always leave my desk and office clean and in good condition. My desk had pens all over it, and my stapler was moved. I could tell someone had been on my computer, and I noticed that my group phone directory had been removed from the wall. It was the only one I had, and I recognized it as mine when I saw it in the conference room because it had pink, purple, and yellow lines all over it.

I am fairly certain it is my boss who was rummaging through my things and that she is the one who took my phone directory. She doesn’t show any respect for me, yet she and the others stand around and talk while I do most of the work. She eats my snacks almost every day, yet never offers to replace them. And most days, she only brings enough snacks for herself. She never repays what she borrows.

My boss was an only child and appears to be a very selfish woman.

I don’t know whether to stand up for myself and say that I don't appreciate the way she treats my things, or if I should continue to keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to lose my job or have her make my life miserable, but I feel as thought my boss does not show any respect for me. What should I do?

-- Peg

Continue reading "Workspace Intrusion" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 17, 2007 at 11:06 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

At the beginning of our meetings, a request is made for cell phones to be turned off. Without fail, some idiot's phone will ring during the meeting. Instead of being embarrassed, the culprit seems to think it's funny, and so do others. Aside from confiscating the ringing phones, what can be done to prevent this from happening again, and let people know how rude it is? It isn't only in meetings that cell phones have become a problem.

- Furious

Continue reading "Cell Phone Use at Work" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 16, 2007 at 10:57 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

The problem I am having is with a co-worker in my department. I am in a lead position, so I have to discuss issues with her as well as the others. This woman has been rude to me for quite a while. The problem is that she is my boss’s friend, and their families are friends too.

I’ve told my boss about specific incidents, both good and bad so he won’t think I am picking on her. But he doesn’t seem to care about her unwillingness to comply, rude comments, or failure to complete assignments. He defends her and makes excuses for her, and will not believe that she can do anything wrong.

I am not trying to get the friend fired. I am simply asking that the boss view and treat her the same way he does others in the department. I believe she is taking full advantage of the fact her boss is her friend. I am documenting the work issues to protect myself if I’m ever asked why something wasn’t done. My boss may cover for her, but I will not. What do you think?

- Outsider

Continue reading "Coworker is Boss's Friend" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 16, 2007 at 10:49 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Fanny tattoo photos, a wet T-shirt contest video, detailed accounts of a crazy party and other dirty laundry may be the stuff of friendly entertainment on social media sites such as MySpace, Facebook and YouTube. Problem is -- these same images may also be the last impressions that many job seekers are leaving with savvy employers. A growing number of recruiters and hiring managers are now investigating social media content as part of the candidate-selection process, warns Rob McGovern, a career expert and the CEO and chairman of Jobfox.

"Companies are looking for the best and brightest candidates," said McGovern, who recently launched Jobfox to make it more efficient and more private for career-minded professionals to stay informed of and apply to job opportunities that are closely linked with their capabilities and desires. "A risque posting could mean the difference between getting hired and losing out to another candidate who is without social media baggage."

Continue reading "Fanny Tattoo Photos on Social Networking Sites Can Hurt Career Image" »

Posted by Steven Rothberg, CollegeRecruiter.com on June 15, 2007 at 4:52 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

The person who follows my shift is making petty complaints about me. My supervisor has no problem with the things this coworker is complaining about, but it still bothers me to have these things in writing. I don’t want to duplicate his behavior, because it accomplishes nothing, but I don’t like being made to look bad either. How do I deal with this?

- Frustrated

Continue reading "Complaining Coworker" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 15, 2007 at 10:11 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am a legal assistant and sole employee of the attorney I work for. When he and his wife purchased the office building we are in, they merged their offices and I was told I would be doing work for his wife's business in addition to the work I was already doing.

I told the attorney that I thought it was too much for me, and I've tried to convince them to hire another employee, but they will not. I honestly feel I am doing the work of three people; I answer the phones, do the bookkeeping, schedule appointments and greet clients for both businesses, in addition to all of the legal assistant research and preparation work I do.

I am paid well by the attorney, but have never received any money from his wife. Both businesses are very busy, and I can't keep this up any more. I've told this to the attorney, but he insists I will be fine.

I've spent over nine years working with this attorney, and I feel I am being taken advantage of. I don't know what I should say or do. Please help.

- Angie

Continue reading "Boss Won't Hire More Help" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 13, 2007 at 6:21 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I work in a nice office with some very pleasant people. There is, however, one person I work with who talks so loudly that it becomes hard for me to keep my focus. My job requires a keen sense of concentration, but I am unable to concentrate when this loud talking is going on. He has been asked time and time again to keep his voice down, but he doesn’t seem to get the message. What can be done to stop him from talking so loud?

- Distracted

Continue reading "Loud Talker" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 13, 2007 at 8:14 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

A few weeks ago, as I was getting ready to leave work early for a doctor’s appointment, I received an email that had to be downloaded. I asked my coworker if she would help me out and she graciously accepted the chore.

Apparently while my coworker was downloading the file, she did some snooping and read some of the other e-mails on my computer. She found an e-mail I wrote my husband that had some negative comments about her in it. She shared the e-mail with others at work and I heard about it from someone.

I would never talk to anyone at work about her and I try to not hurt other people’s feelings. I had no idea she would read it and never intended her to. I feel bad she read it, but I am angry she went through my e-mail and invaded my privacy.

I confessed to my boss about it because I didn't want her to find out from my nosey coworker. She seemed fine and basically told me not to worry about it. I learned a valuable lesson and know now not to write personal e-mails at work any more. I will forgive and forget and not mention it to her because I don't want to cause problems for the person who told me about it, but I am not sure if I am handling it the right way. How am I supposed to deal with a nosey, gossiping coworker?

- Invaded

Continue reading "Email Snooping" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 11, 2007 at 8:00 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

International career opportunities are an increasingly viable and attractive option, especially for recent college graduates. Likewise, the number of international professional employees working in the United States continues to be strong. Cultures will inevitably cross in the workplace, but what can be done to avoid culture clashes?

In an interview in Business Week, author Maya Hu-Chan explains that communication styles impact cross cultural interactions in the workplace. For example, the issue of "losing face" is one that arises for many cultures, but is often less of a concern to US workers. Hu-Chan encourages US employees to "cultivate an intellectual grace and kindness which will allow you to ensure that a point is understood without shaming your colleague." Hu-chan also recommends employees avoid using slang.

Using too many culturally narrow expressions, idioms, colloquialisms, and even too much humor can cause your message to be totally lost in translation. Your global associates may misinterpret what you said, or not understand you at all, but remain too polite to ask what has been said. For instance, one global manager from Malaysia was upset that his boss said "no-brainer" in a recent conversation. He thought his boss was insulting him by calling him stupid.

Steotypes can also impact cross-cultural interactions in the workplace - you cannot assume that Asian colleagues are good with technology or that co-workers from the Caribbean are always late. Whether you're a US employee or an international professional working in the US or abroad, resist the temptation to stereotype your colleagues. Rather, take the time to learn about the cultures represented in your workplace by getting to know the individuals with whom you work. While embracing your cultural differences, you'll likely find remarkable similarities!

Posted by Grace Kutney on June 7, 2007 at 11:05 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am in a management position and I have a supervisor who is negative and unsupportive. He brings his personal problems to work and doesn't care about much else. He is affecting the morale of all of us, but I don't know what to do about it because he is not open to what others have to say and is difficult to talk to.

I admit I am nervous about addressing this with him, but I can't ignore the negative affect he is having on me and on everyone else. Someone has to do something, but I am not sure what we can do. Do you have any recommendations?

- Scared

Continue reading "Dealing With a Negative Supervisor" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 6, 2007 at 4:23 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

Why would upper management allow a lower boss to run her office like it was a frat house on a Saturday night? While a fraction of the people do the work, the others talk on the phone, come and go as they please, throw food at each other, shoot rubber bands, and carry on a conversation among themselves so loudly that other departments notice it.

When they actually work, the boss will wander by and say, "It's so quiet in here, are you all dead?" These people, who range in age from 25-50, get paid the same as those who actually work all of the time they are here.

Maybe I'm too serious, but I spent a lot of money for school and I do an excellent job and give 110 percent. I feel used and disrespected. If I complain, I become a trouble maker. I can't quit because of great pay and benefits, and I love the actual job. The boss never deals with opposition, so I just sit here like a fool. I am ready to scream! Help!

--Working hard

Continue reading "Office Full of Goof Offs" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 5, 2007 at 10:12 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am an architect for a company I started working for eight years ago. In addition to the many projects I work on, I have been responsible for setting up all of the computers and networking them back to our main office (over 400 miles away) and then teaching the other employees how to draw on a computer.

I produce the most work, because I work lots of nights and weekends and I rarely take a lunch or other break. I love my job, but I know I am underpaid and I do not feel I get the respect I deserve.

Other people are getting credit for the things I do, and I am afraid if I don't do something fast that things will get worse; we are struggling to make ends meet at home.

I’m not good at brownnosing with the boss and often miss out on volunteer and other relationship-building opportunities because I have so much work to do. Do you have any suggestions?

- Getting no respect

Continue reading "Hard Worker Gets No Respect" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 4, 2007 at 9:00 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

Two years ago my boss agreed to let an attorney in the building use our office for his reception services. I am the only administrative person so this meant that I was in charge of answering his phones, collecting his mail, greeting his clients, and accepting deliveries.

This attorney is condescending and rude toward women and difficult to work with. I’ve tried to please him, but it is impossible. He finds fault with everything I do. He’s even complained to my boss about me.

We finally were able to have his reception services moved out of our offices and into another office in the building. Meanwhile, he has accused me of removing signs, bad mouthing him, and causing him hardship.

When I have to see him or talk to him, I can feel my body start to shake and my blood pressure rise. I have tried to ignore him and he has complained to my boss that I am rude. I can't talk to him about it because it is a losing situation; he has to "win" every conversation. My boss won’t stand up for me either.

How do I get through this?

-- Miserable

Continue reading "You Control Your Own Feelings" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on June 4, 2007 at 9:00 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am having difficulties with a coworker who happens to be a friend of the troublemaker she replaced. She has been identified as a troublemaker herself.

She admitted to me that people had told her negative things about me and that others were betting we wouldn’t get along. She also said that neither of us is as bad as people make us out to be. I was offended by her comments.

After hearing she was bad mouthing me to others, I approached her and told her I felt tension between us and asked if I had done anything to offend her. She informed me that she felt tension from me. She said she feels there is a division on our team and that there is not enough communication. I asked her what I can do to make it easier for her. She asked me to let her know what I am doing and be more of a team player. I agreed.

I am concerned that she is being negatively influenced by the troublemaker she replaced, but don’t know how to stop his influence without proof that he is encouraging trouble now that he is gone.

My supervisor is a nice guy, but a weak leader who hates confrontation. He mentioned that he is thinking of changing the shifts around because there are too many strong personalities but has not indicated whose personality he is using as the reason to switch shifts. I do not want my supervisor to label me as a troublemaker so I'm keeping quiet.

My performance evaluations have been great, but dealing with these negative people makes me wonder -- is it me? I don’t want to rock the boat, but it is rocking!

- Rocking

Continue reading "Who's to Blame?" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 31, 2007 at 4:09 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Picture a crisp, clear spring day. You're flying 633 mph at 22,000 feet, with your wingman two miles off and exactly ninety degrees to your right on a combat mission in southern Iraq's no-fly zone. You both are scanning for enemy aircraft, surface-to-air missiles (SAMS), and radar activity. Over half your time is spent "checking six"-looking behind you and your wingman for unseen threats or movement.

Suddenly, you hear your wingman's voice blare over the radio, "Break right, break right! Missile launch your five o'clock!" Your heartbeat ramps up and you feel the surge of adrenaline as your fight-or-flight reflex kicks in. This all happens in an eye blink, and in that same instant, it's time to act. Instinctively you 'break right' - crank the stick to the right, bank the aircraft ninety degrees, and pull back as hard as you can, feeling the g forces flatten you back into the seat.

Continue reading "BREAK RIGHT!! How to Survive the Missiles of Life" »

Posted by Steven Rothberg, CollegeRecruiter.com on May 31, 2007 at 10:39 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I am pregnant and have just found out I am considered high risk, and that there is a good chance I will deliver by cesarean. I shared this with one of the partners of the firm I work for and told him that the recovery may be longer with a cesarean and that I may need additional time off. His response was so offensive to me that I am having a hard time putting it past me.

He said, "Oh suck it up, how hard can it be? My wife had three of them; besides you can schedule when you go in." He may have been joking and trying to make light of the situation, but I felt his comment was discriminatory, and it is not the first comment of that kind uttered by him. What constitutes discriminatory comments, and what should I do?

---Insulted

Continue reading "When Do Insults Become Harassment?" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 31, 2007 at 7:21 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

Help! I am in a situation that is reaching its boiling point. I work in a doctor's office and have been working with most of the same people for about five years now. I thought I knew them until recently. Our Administrator left the company (not by choice). His assistant was re-assigned to a different department and has been there for little over a year.

About four months ago I was approached and offered the job to work along side her. This is the research department and is a very difficult and tedious job, but a very good opportunity for me to further my career. This person was to train me. That has yet to happen. I am her gofer. I run errands, make copies, set appointments, etc. She is treating me like I am her assistant! I feel like she doesn't want me to learn the job for fear that I may be better at it than her. She is 10 years older than me but acts like we are still in high school! She's very paranoid and makes me feel uncomfortable.

I did go to my new administrator and discussed this but I'm not sure what will happen. This particular lady is friends outside the office with the head doctor. I'm a little scared to return to the office on Monday for fear of retaliation from her. Do I stand up to her? Do I continue to stay in her shadow? I'm a quiet person and at times pretty shy. She is the opposite. She knows she intimidates me and she thrives on it.

I want this job and I need it. We have to work together so I have to figure out how to respond to her and her ways. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Continue reading "Promotion Not All It Was Promised" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 30, 2007 at 12:23 PM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

In order to help with my workload, my boss hired a part-time intern for me. She was previously employed in a separate department. In their haste, they did not ask her former supervisor about her work habits. I have since learned that her former department manager was going to fire her prior to my department hiring her. He cited several issues including her lack of respect.

I now fully understand why they were going to let her go. When she doesn't get what she wants or doesn't want to do what she's asked, she rolls her eyes and makes rude comments. She constantly whines about her workspace (she was placed in a common area with a secretary). She feels that she deserves an office as she is not a secretary. I strongly disagree as she is an intern, only works two days a week, and offices are typically reserved for full-time professionals who have earned their dues.

I have warned her about the workspace situation and she has since quieted down. She is highly judgmental and feels that she is always right. I am always amazed by her constant lack of humility. After all she is a college student and has no experience in this field. My field is highly male dominated. She does behave more respectfully toward my male counterparts in my department. As a result I don’t feel I will ever trust her. I feel that she wishes to perform well but, her attitude gets in the way.

Today, my boss will be firing her based upon the reasoning that she is more of a hindrance than a help. Why do I feel so guilty? I don’t think it’s appropriate to reprimand her about her judgmental attitude, as this is a part of character and a personal matter. What is an appropriate way to handle such matters?

Continue reading "Is Your Office Helper More of a Hindrance?" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 29, 2007 at 7:51 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

My boss is the type of person who has to be asked for a raise or review every year. I feel if I ask him, he’ll feel obligated and resent it later. I am feeling compelled to look for employment elsewhere. In your honest opinion, is that something that’s worth the effort?

- Rick

Continue reading "Should You Ask for a Raise?" »

Posted by Steven Rothberg, CollegeRecruiter.com on May 29, 2007 at 7:33 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

I graduated four years ago and have not been able to stick with one job permanently. I think there is something terribly wrong with me as I have not stayed at any job for longer than six months, yet I am unable to do anything about it.

Currently I am hopping from one temporary job to another which is really detrimental to my career life as well as my personal life. I have lost my self esteem and am worried that I'm spoiling my health due too many sleepless nights.

I can’t find a job I want. I set too many rules for finding a job such as location, transportation, salary, less complex jobs etc.

I am afraid employers are reluctant to hire me. Please tell me what to do.

– Going Crazy

Continue reading "Job Hopper Seeks Help" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 29, 2007 at 7:21 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

Dear Sue:

We have an employee whose fragrance announces itself way before she enters the room. I am the person of least status in the department and yet people complain to me, rather than to upper management, hoping I'll do something. We cannot expect action from upper management as they do not cope well with issues like this.

To top it off, I'm highly allergic to fragrance. What is the best way to handle this?

- Can't breathe

Continue reading "Coworker Wears Too Much Perfume" »

Posted by Candice Arnold on May 29, 2007 at 5:48 AM | Leave a Comment (0)

As a counselor I am often amazed, and pleased, that clients exhibit remarkable candor in describing to me their fears and hopes, strengths and weaknesses and successes and failures. The importance of client frankness is essential in delivering relevant advice.

Occasionally, I am confronted with a resume that omits important information or a client who believes lying in an interview is a part of the game. Apart from the obvious question of personal values, I point out that firms are far more careful when hiring. Companies check references, monitor email, and follow up even after hiring. Consequently, this type of dishonesty is simply not smart and if that were the end of it, the question of ethics as a career issue would be minor. Unfortunately, it is not.

Continue reading "How Ethical Conducts Impact a Career" »

Posted by Steven Rothberg, CollegeRecruiter.com on May 24, 2007 at 6:33 PM | Leave a Comment (0)