Feeling Like a Doormat?
Dear Sue:
I am a recent graduate and I am in a new full time job. I have only been working here two months, so I am still fairly new and in a learning mode. As a result, I still make small blunders at work. The problem is my supervisor -- I work closely with her and she is very condescending towards me. She loves to "rub it in" every time I make a mistake.
I consider myself to be a very hard worker, and on many occasions I have stayed later then I should. At the end of the day all my self confidence is gone. The way she speaks down to me seems unfair. How can I handle this so I don’t feel like a complete doormat?
– Doormat
Sue Says:
How have you been handling her comments to you? Do you remain silent, provide an explanation or ask questions? Are you willing to let your supervisor and others determine how you feel about yourself? Perhaps your supervisor is rather harsh and insensitive, but is it possible that you are overly sensitive to your supervisor’s comments? Could she simply be trying to help you learn from your mistakes, and not ridiculing you for them? Are you the one who is hard on yourself and punishing yourself for making errors?
I realize it is not easy to be new in any position, and that it takes time to feel competent in any job. But learning new things and making mistakes is ongoing; you are going to need to learn how to deal with the mistakes you make, and how to handle the corrections of those mistakes.
Start by patting yourself on the back for working hard and doing well. The next time you make a mistake, view it as an opportunity to learn. Ask questions and don’t belittle yourself. If your supervisor makes comments, listen and see what you can learn from her as well. If you believe she is belittling you, say something. Don’t accuse her of anything – just let her know you are not sure how to take her comments. You will only feel like a doormat if you act like one. Don’t allow your confidence to disappear; focus on your strengths and try to realize that the problem may not be your supervisor as much as your reaction to what she says.
-- Sue Morem is a professional speaker, best-selling author and syndicated columnist. Her books include How to Gain the Professional Edge, 101 Tips for Graduates, and the just released How to Get a Job and Keep It, Second Edition. You can send questions to her by email at asksue@suemorem.com or visit her web site at http://www.suemorem.com.
Read more of Sue’s articles by clicking here: Ask Sue
Leave a comment